My first experience with pornography was traumatizing. When I was six years old, my mom and I went to the local video store. While she was browsing in another section across the store, I noticed a small swinging door underneath a hand-painted sign that read "Adults Only." As a precocious child, I was very curious about this mysterious room that dared bar me from entering. Gently pushing open the door, I was in awe at the bizarre images in front of me: colorful videotape jackets with bold lettering and very naked people. I knew it was wrong to look at these images but I couldn't stop myself; it was simply mesmerizing.
"HEY! Get out of there!" yelled the store clerk. Painful waves of shame crawled underneath my skin. For a 6-year-old, the feeling of sketchiness is novel and scarring. However, it was an important milestone in my discovery of human sexuality.
As adults, the treatment of pornography is very different among male and female populations. For guys, it can be an important part of their life and a great topic of discussion. It's generally accepted that most guys have, at some time, enjoyed an adult film. They don't even need to watch it with the intention of exercising their hands. At times of boredom, they will lounge together and give commentary on some of their favorite movies. My ex's fraternity maintained a tradition of "Pancakes and Porn" after one of their annual parties. "Waitc9 so you sit around your big screen eating pancakesc9 while watching sex?" I questioned. Lips overloaded with ungodly red lipstick salivating onto male genitalia don't seem make for an appetizing image, but what would I know? I'm not a boy.
The topic of porn is very hush-hush in the female population. Often the simple word will trigger a gag reflex, forcing girls to use hand earmuffs as their only defense against the uncivilized conversation. Occasionally, curiosity will get the best of them and they will watch a five-second clip with their girlfriends. After having a seizing fit of giggles, though, they will quickly turn it off.
While in public they may cringe at Playboy, women have a secret. They can deny it all they want, but girls watch porn. In fact, girls love porn. They will download it, collect their favorite videos, and thoroughly enjoy watching it. Some girls will even go as far as to exchange porn videos.
This rarely happens, and when it does, conversation is minimal. If you don't believe me, consider the popularity of romance novels. For those of you who haven't read them, you're truly missing out.
Some are quite perverse. Women don't read them for the sappy romantic plot, but for the risqu8e and graphic description of Vikings unsheathing their swords and plunging them underneath the layers of lacy petticoats, fulfilling their ladies' deepest desires. Who knew that reading could be such a turn-on?
In a relationship, porn is usually treated as a joke. Upon finding her boyfriend's stash, she pretends to be disgusted and then proceeds to guilt him for his nasty obsession. Boys usually enjoy torturing their girlfriends by blasting loud, raunchy sex clips so to embarrass her as her roommates listen in.
It's time to take the humor out of pornography and gain some benefits from its potential for pleasure. Both men and women can be easily aroused by images or sounds of others being pleasured. Hearing your partner's passionate moans of satisfaction automatically turns you on. Watching porn in the bedroom has a similar effect, only more intense. Your partner's cries will be intertwined with the background sounds from the video. Your actions will seem to not only please your boyfriend or girlfriend, but your other "partners" as well.
Incorporation of adult videos into your sexual activities can range from simply providing a raunchy aural stimulus to creating a dialogue for role-playing. If you or your partner is not entirely comfortable with the idea, it is best to start off slowly. You don't necessarily need to watch the action, as the sounds alone can be an extra turn-on. It will encourage you to make your own porn star noises.
You'll be surprised to learn that your own vocalizations can intensify your sexual experience. By watching the videos, you can learn new and creative moves. Think of it as an educational seminar. Role-playing is a completely different experience.
Both partners must be very comfortable saying explicit statements. Sexual communication must be very strong in the relationship. If you can't tell your partner to simply use more pressure with oral stimulation, you won't be able to play construction worker and sultry new secretary.
It is important to pick the right video to enjoy with your partner. In the girl's best interest, it's best not to choose something too hardcore, something that will be overly graphic.
For example, a girl is rarely inspired by a doctor's deep rectal examination of his powerless female patient. You'll want one with scenes that depict both the male and female characters being equally satisfied.
A few suggestions include: Camp Cuddly Pines: Power Tool Massacre, a parody of "slasher" films; Pirates XXX, a sexier version of Pirates of the Caribbean unfortunately without Johnny Depp; and Manhunters, a story of horny female bounty hunters.
Go open your DC++ accounts and explore the plethora of porn collected by our own Hopkins students. As a warning, there are some extremely grotesque images out there. If you steer clear of any overly aggressive orgies, you'll be able to find some sensual and arousing videos.
