Do you find it frustrating when people misunderstand the difference between there, their, and they're? It's a simple grammatical concept that manages to elude some people completely. Fortunately getting over this confusion takes only a little bit of effort. There are some misunderstandings, however, that are much harder to clear up. The female orgasm is the ultimate THERE, but all too often we find ourselves, men and women, confused and hopeless, stuck in "their" and "they're."
The female orgasm is one of the biggest mysteries in our culture. I don't blame the male population for not comprehending this complex topic, however, I feel a responsibility to offer my help. It is always disappointing when a girl encounters a poor clueless boy, who is trying his best but simply can't figure out how to get from their to THERE.
Frankly, many girls don't even understand their own bodies. By age 18, only 50 percent of girls have masturbated, whereas 98 percent of boys have ejaculated by age 15. Some girls are not comfortable with themselves and even afraid to touch their own bodies.
No matter what anyone says, masturbation is a healthy thing. Don't assume that no one does it either. Your roommate, brother and sister all do it. And you would be lying to yourself if you said that your parents have never done it. How will your partner be able to pleasure you if you don't have an understanding of what gets you hot?
The female orgasm is very personal. Any guy can attest to the fact that every girl derives pleasure in different ways. Though your ex-girlfriend may have liked it fast and hard, that doesn't mean your new playmate enjoys it that way. Don't make any assumptions when hooking up with a girl for the first time. Go slowly and try different things out to see what turns her on the most. If you don't allow her to communicate her likes or dislikes, you'll never get the job done.
Though a girl's orgasm is highly individual there are certain generalizations that may be helpful. There are some things that will get every girl going, and some things that will turn her off faster than you can say, "faking it."
First off, never ever put anything even near the back door without permission. If you wouldn't want us to give you a surprise rectal examination, why would we enjoy it? Consent, of course, is always sexy.
Now let's get down to the nitty-gritty of one of the greatest mysteries in the known universe. There are two types of female orgasms: the clitoral (external) and the vaginal (internal). The clitoris is the only human organ that has the sole purpose of providing pleasure, as it has no relation to pregnancy or menstruation. Though the key to the external orgasm is the clitoris, some guys get too excited after finding it. Many make the mistake of applying too much pressure during direct manual or oral stimulation of the clitoris. This can actually be painful and irritating. As stimulation continues, the tissue of the clitoral hood swells making it less visible. This is to prevent direct contact. Touching the area surrounding the clitoris is much more pleasurable.
The biggest misunderstanding among both men and women is the vaginal orgasm. Some individuals incorrectly agree with Freud's theory that "whenever a woman is incapable of achieving an orgasm via coitus, provided the husband is an adequate partner, and prefers clitoral stimulation to any other form of sexual activity, she can be regarded as suffering from frigidity and requires psychiatric assistance." Freud obviously had no knowledge of the female anatomy, and probably had a really small penis.
The vagina has very few nerve endings compared to the clitoris and is therefore not exactly designed for orgasmic pleasure. The G-Spot, named after German doctor Ernst Grafenberg, is a pea-sized area of highly sensitive, textured skin two inches up on the uppermost wall of the vaginal cavity. It can be very difficult to find even through self-exploration, and many women will go their entire lifetimes without experiencing this orgasm.
Guys have the misconception that simply inserting something into the vagina as hard as possible will do the trick. A bigger misconception is that there is a direct relationship between the amount of pleasure experienced and the number of fingers used in the process. You may want to see how much fits inside marshmallows in a game of Chubby Bunny, but two fingers is enough to do the trick. Thrusting is not pleasurable either. Be gentle and use "come hither" motions with your fingers. This is delicate tissue, and it's sensitive to every movement.
The greatest difference between girls and guys is that an orgasm is not always the ultimate goal for females. Sexual experiences can be fun and pleasurable without orgasming. This does not mean that guys shouldn't try to pleasure their girl, but don't be completely crushed if she doesn't finish. Let it also be known that a minority of girls can consistently finish during intercourse. Manual external stimulation is truly appreciated during sex. Communication is essential to help a girl orgasm. Most importantly, don't be afraid to set aside your ego and ask her how to do something. It will shock her and she will love you for it.
