Meeting misconceptions head on - Sorority sisters put up their dukes against common stereotypes

Women in college are divided into two categories: those that are in a sorority and those that aren't. Sororities are hailed as families, a place to really develop connections with people; but with positive connotations come negative ones.

Getting in is all about who you know. "Sorority" is just another word for "clique." Sisters are paying for their friends.

At least, that's what some people think. Here's what some of the sisters who've been in a sorority for the majority of their time at Hopkins think.

Before the Race...

Rushing a sorority is a process often met with harsh criticism. What do sisters really base their criteria on? How is each girl considered?

"It's partially how you interact with girls in Rush," said Patience Boudreaux, a senior in Alpha Phi. "[The girls who get bids] are the people we cliqued with."

Emily Mayer, one of the vice presidents of Phi Mu, agreed.

"It's really just hitting it off and having a great conversation with someone," she said.

According to Mayer, some girls get the impression that if they're friends with some of the girls in the sorority, they'll automatically get in.

"Unfortunately, [having that mindset] is the case, and a lot of girls get disappointed," she said.

During Rush, girls get the opportunity to interact with sorority sisters at four parties before they receive bids. Even though having an outgoing personality doesn't guarantee a bid, Mayer said it's harder for shy girls to show their enthusiasm.

"People might mistake you for not being interested," she said.

Boudreaux feels that girls who aren't as sociable probably won't rush a sorority in the first place. For those who do, bidding is entirely dependent on compatibility, not to mention how many bids each sorority is allowed by the Panhellenic Council.

Alpha Kappa Delta Phi, one of the Hopkins sororities not included in the Panhellenic Council, doesn't have to limit its number of bids, but bases its decisions on the same principles.

"It's really a matter of compatibility [...] and seeing if the rushee fits our visions of the sorority," said Connie Everett, a senior and KDPhi sister.

In each sorority, however, exceptions are made for family members of current or past sisters. Based on a legacy agreement, if these rushees attend events and show enthusiasm, they're guaranteed a bid.

During the Race...

One issue never considered in the bidding process is money.

"Money is not a deciding factor," Boudreaux said. "It never is."

Alpha Phi develops payment plans for sisters who can't afford to pay dues (ranging from more than $200 for sisters and $400 for new members per semester).

Phi Mu also develops contracts specific to each sister. According to Mayer, some sisters pay $25-50 each year, and continue to pay the rest of the fees after graduation.

After the Race...

So once sisters are in, is everyone else cut out? With common references to "family" and "sisterhood," are other girls inherently excluded?

"I can see how people might feel that way," Boudreaux said.

But her experiences with Alpha Phi have welcomed outside members. Hour-long meetings and certain activities are limited to sisters, but other informal events are open to anyone, and sisters are encouraged to bring friends. Boudreaux has never lived with any of her sisters, but thinks that about half of her sorority does.

Mayer thinks sororities can be labeled as cliquish, but it's not always accurate.

"I think it's very true at other schools," she said. "It can be what you want it to be."

Everett agrees that each sister decides the importance of the sorority and/or outside friends differently.

"Sororities are only cliquish and exclusive if you make them that way," she said. "Some people make the sorority govern their whole life, some people find a healthy balance."

While a lot depends on the individual, outside friends might feel uncomfortable at sorority events because of inside jokes shared by the sisters, or simple conversations on plans for upcoming formals in which they can't really participate.

A concept within sororities that may seem to segregate sisters is Big Sister/Little Sister. Older sorority sisters volunteer to act as Big Sisters for new pledges, and take them on as little sisters.

During the pledging process, Littles don't know who their Bigs are, and receive gifts from them as clues to their identity.

The gifts end after the pledging process, but the Bigs and Littles usually stay close, sometimes spending more time with each other than with other sisters in the sorority. The commitment differs from family to family, but Boudreaux, Mayer, and Everett all say they are still spending extra time outside of sorority events with their Littles.

"Some lineages are really strong and they take it really seriously," Mayer said.

Boudreaux sees her Littles as friends.

"I do stuff with them, not because they're Little Sisters, but because I get along with them," she said.

According to Boudreaux, Alpha Phi puts a cap on how much money Bigs can spend on their Littles, and some sisters spend even less. Phi Mu has a similar policy.

"We really don't want people going insane," Mayer said.