Lessons on the art of being a secret slut at JHU

It is a common misconception that the pretty, popular girls are the promiscuous ones. The truth of the matter is they're the nice girls, those that are always smiling and greeting everyone, those that seem innocent and reserved and those who say they don't go out on the weekends, who get their A-game on all the time. They are the ones who have mastered the art of secret promiscuity.

When one attends a small school, such as Johns Hopkins University, it is not difficult to acquire a reputation for being promiscuous, easy, loose, sluttish, whorish, dirty, sketchy or any other term that falls into the same category. If you've done something out of the ordinary, word is undoubtedly going to spread quickly, and soon your bad reputation will be developed. So, what do those seemingly classy ladies do when they juggle between appearing conservative during the day and letting it all hang out while they paint the town red at night? After having asked around, I found out a variety of methods women use in order to go about living their secretly promiscuous lifestyle.

First, there is the "try to avoid the walk of shame as much as possible and don't tell anyone about your questionable behavior." On your walk home, walk confidently and as if on a mission; no one has to know which house you are walking from or the fact that you could be walking from a prospective stranger's house. At times, it may be even worse if people know whose house you visited. This is clearly because guys "brag about their sexual exploits," states an affiliated student here at JHU. Because guys talk so much about their adventures, they allow people to formulate opinions of them. If you've hooked up with someone who is considered dirty, you will soon be equated with being dirty as well. When you get home, watch out who you tell what to -- cut out a few things here and there. As much as we hate to admit it, even our closest friends don't know when to keep their mouths shut. Worst of all, they'll probably tell someone they care about, like their boyfriends, thinking that you won't mind because if the two of them are close then the two of you should be close. As soon as that occurs, you know that your valuable secrets will be spreading like wild-fire all over the campus.

Second, there is the "hook-up with people who don't run in your social circle, who don't have a high profile and who don't attend the same school you attend." It is one thing to have a fling with a friend every once in a while. No one says that there is anything wrong with having a "friends with benefits" relationship. Don't, however, allow yourself to get passed around by a group of friends who are also your group of friends. According Thomas Chuckelford, "Guys will begin to discard that girl and lose respect for her." As for hooking up with guys with a high-profile, as previously iterated, you create your own bad reputation, so don't do it! Lastly, get with non-Blue Jays. A certain senior believes, "It's always a good way to get satisfied without having everyone you care about find out. Don't cheat, but don't settle for abstinence because you are afraid people will think badly of you. Just get around those people." That may sound devious, but do you really want to be "that girl" who hooks up in the middle of the dance floor so that everyone can see and talk about it the day after? Granted, we've all been there, but wouldn't it be better to be secretly promiscuous?

Third, hook up with someone in a different country. Some people say that if you're dating someone and you hook up with someone else in a different state or a different area code, then it doesn't count. Along those same lines, if you're not in your home country, your reputation is excusable. Such adventures make for great stories when you come home. One girl confirms that she got with a drummer during her vacation in the Caribbean. She was considered a hero amongst her friends for approximately a week since she told them the story. She admits, however, that she did not fully disclose the story. Had she done so, she believes her friends would have disowned her for life.

Some people, like an anonymous sophomore, believe that you should "be sexually adventurous with one person; don't go around doing many things with many people." Of course, that really only applies to those who have boyfriends. For the rest of the girls out there who want some but don't want the baggage, just remember: don't kiss and tell, don't do it where people you know can judge you and don't do it at home. If you can cover these three areas, then congratulations, you are now considered secretly promiscuous.