I was relatively late in getting a driver’s license. I realized this when I met up with some old friends in my senior year of high school, and I was the only one who still had a permit.
Right after my high school graduation, I realized that I had the perfect opportunity to finish my driving training. My dad was home, and he could sit beside me as I drove to camp each day and practiced parallel parking. The hours slowly added up, and I finally passed the test in July. Someone even came up to me after the test and said, “The parallel parking was really good!” (I don’t know if I still have those skills, though; I haven’t parallel parked a single time since).
After the test, it still felt too abrupt to start driving alone. First, my dad would still sit in the passenger seat. Then my grandma came along for a ride to Chick-Fil-A, and my dad finally moved to the backseat. I became pretty confident in my driving skills.
Then in August, it was time to leave. As I adjusted to my new life at Hopkins, I mastered the JHMI, Amtrak and Lyft. My sense of freedom grew as I traversed Inner Harbor and made solo trips to New Jersey. I also had to learn how to build and maintain my own schedule, since there were no check-ins or lights out in the dorm anymore, as I’d been used to.
When I came back home for winter break, I started to express this newfound freedom more overtly, taking my grandma to the mall and exploring libraries and cafes by myself. I relished the independence in each trip to the pediatrician’s office for shadowing.
A few months later at the beginning of spring break, a friend from high school texted me, “Dare we make a pie girl trip sometime next week?” As trivial as it sounds, I was ecstatic, not only because I got to reunite with my best friend, but I could make the trip to Central Jersey by myself. This time, instead of asking my family if they were available, I only had to make sure the car was available.
Moreover, spring break has been another time of self-discovery. Each time I went out, I grew more confident in managing my own time and pushing back against my family when they asked, “Why can’t you just work at home?” I would feel a mixture of thrill and fear as I thought, “I’ve never done this before.”
On the last day of spring break, I faced my biggest boss: Philadelphia. My family and I went to see the Philadelphia Orchestra and pianist Haochen Zhang perform Rachmaninoff’s Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini, and I took the wheel. It was the closest I’ve felt to road rage. Luckily, I didn’t have to parallel park, but after staying still in a block for twenty minutes, my mom, brother and I ended up hopping out at an intersection while my dad replaced me. He found a parking spot as we walked to the theater on foot. All of us made it to the concert in time, and Zhang’s playing was beautiful. In the end, I still adore Philly; I will take the SEPTA there next time, though.
On the way back (I did not drive), I asked my dad, “May I perhaps drive to school tomorrow?” He agreed. And so I got to drive the whole way back to Baltimore. On the way, he asked a few times if I wanted to switch, but I kept refusing until the end. As I rolled into the AMR II parking lot, I breathed a sigh of relief. We made it here safely!
Now that I feel much better about my driving, I can start to dream even bigger. I’m already imagining road trips in my head and driving across the country. With this newfound independence, though, I must also have greater responsibility and self-control.
My driving journey so far has been a vessel for my journey of self-discovery. When I started to drive, I didn’t trust myself with such a powerful machine. Every time I sat behind a car wheel, I stepped out of my comfort zone. But with each successful trip I took, I told myself, “It wasn’t too bad, right? You can do it next time, too!” As I continue my journey here at Hopkins, I hope to keep growing into a person who can trust herself with taking the reins of her life.
Elizabeth Rao is a freshman from Newtown, Pa., studying biophysics.
