Letters Without Limits, founded by students at Johns Hopkins and Brown University, connects volunteers with palliative care and hospice patients to co-create “Legacy Letters.” These letters capture memories, values and lessons that patients wish to share, preserving stories that might otherwise be lost. By honoring these voices and preserving legacies, Letters Without Limits hopes to affirm the central role of humanism in medicine, reminding us that every patient is more than their illness and that their voices deserve to be heard. As you read these powerful Legacy Letters, we invite you to pause, reflect and recognize the beauty in every life.
Interviewer’s Note
Sitting across from Tim Kahoe has been an absolute privilege and a joy. The sarcasm in his wisdom is something special. Tim’s a special type of go-getter. He wasn’t born with a vision to conquer the world. He’s just a man who recognized opportunities when they came and seized them with both hands. Life is going to give you those defining moments. Don’t let them pass you by. Tim is a reminder of the difference between planning for the future and ignoring the present.
Introduction
Well, here it is. My whole legacy letter. Never thought I'd be doing something like this, but here we are. You know I started out as a little asshole, running around, not caring much about anything. And I'm probably still an asshole; I try to be better, Lord knows I do, but you can't change everything overnight.
My Heart and Soul
First things first, gotta say how grateful I am for my family. My kids. My grandkids. And my wife, J. Couldn't have done any of it without her. She's been my rock, my partner, my everything. I really hope I get to see my grandkids grow old. That's one of my three wishes, right up there with regaining my health and feeling normal again after my stroke.
I met J. at the ice skating rink by Memorial Stadium back in '71. Her friend wanted to escape with me, so I ended up skating with J. I kind of knew her already because I had a car and drove everyone home. We got married in '74. She's everything. She's beautiful. She's fine. And she cares about me, you know? She'd do anything for me. I couldn't get it done without her.
We got two great kids. Pretty good kids. My son played football, wrestled and did lacrosse. My daughter did crew in college. Now, my son works at a restaurant, and my daughter's an attorney in Michigan. I've got two grandkids from her. They're a piece of work. It's funny, I think I noticed more of my grandkids growing up than my kids. You know when they learn something I can see it in their eyes. It’s amazing.
When my kids came along, my focus shifted to my family. I always worked hard, but I also made time for them. If my kids had sporting events, I was there. That's one thing I’m proud of. That we took time off with the kids to go to things and do things. Some people who work hard like I do just can’t stop, and they forget about their family. But I never had a single focus. You can work just as hard in less time.
So, what did I accomplish in life? Sure you can read about the rest. But what I accomplished is I got two good kids that are successful. They're upstanding citizens.
Where I Come From
I was born in Baltimore, grew up in Harrisburg, and then came back to Baltimore for high school. Been here ever since. I like Baltimore, though I do love getting away to the beach in the summertime. My wife and I spend as much time as we can down by the water at Assateague. It's really nice there, nothing but beach. I like the silence. Life in the city gets too busy. Out there, you don't think about work all the time. You just gotta be there, fish, go on the water.
As a child, I had three brothers. Four of us in total. We were all a bunch of rascals, to be honest. Didn't care about anything, just did what we wanted. My mother was a nurse, and I saw how hard she worked. After seeing how bad we were, I don't know how she did it.
If I could go back and tell my younger self something, I don't think I'd change anything. Made mistakes, sure, but nothing too big. Maybe I would love my brothers more. My dad wasn't around much, so my mom was everything I learned from because she was working her ass off and trying to teach us to do the right thing. And school, too. College was a hell of an education. You gonna learn one way or the other when you get to college.
I felt most alive when I was a teenager. Those were good times. It's better being a kid. I'd rather be a kid again, because you don't have to worry like you do when you're an adult. I had a buddy whose grandmother had a place in Ocean City, and we'd go down there for the summer. We didn't have adult supervision really, so we got to do whatever we wanted to do. It was a good time to grow up. The music back then was great too: Hendrix, Led Zeppelin, Cream. Too bad they’re not on the radio today.
Making it Big
I've been in the film business since 1982. Got into it by pure luck, I guess. I was a grad student at Towson University, and one of the professors, Dr. B.M., asked if I wanted an internship. I said yeah. I had no idea what it meant. But I didn't have a job, so why not? Ended up at this place called S. Productions. They were the big shots in Baltimore back then. We had all kinds of national award winners working together. My plan was to just get a job, but it turned out better than I ever thought it could be. That internship made all the difference.
Before going to college, I worked in a shipyard for about eight years. Good money, but I hated the job. No brain work. Just doing the same thing every day, trying not to get hurt. But it taught me stuff. I learned about how you trust people and make friends. I learned about unions, the good and the bad. After getting laid off for the second time, I decided, I'm not gonna go back again. I don't wanna do this anymore. Went back to school, and somehow ended up in the film business. Crazy how things turn out, right? Seemed bad at the time, but it led me to where I was supposed to be. You don't think any good about it at all in the beginning, but you gotta take the chance to make a difference.
Over the years, I got to work on some pretty cool stuff. It’s funny the first commercial I worked on was for Keswick Multicare center in 1982. Now I live here. Worked for most of the major companies in town, and commercials nationwide. I even worked with Prince for five days on his first MTV videos "Baby I'm a Star" and "I Would Die 4 U." That was a big gig. I told you I got to work with some big people. I did a commercial with Joe Frazier. That was pretty cool too. Working near DC, I did some political campaigns as well.
Eventually I got good enough to run my own company for a while, Big Shot Productions. Had 50 employees at one point, offices in Baltimore and D.C. It was amazing. Then, the industry changed, and we eventually closed down. Now I have another company working with my wife at Abell Production Services.
Working in the film business, the most rewarding part was always when you saw the finished product and people liked it. Though I have to admit, sometimes after spending weeks on a project, I'd get up and leave the room when it came on TV. Just got sick of hearing the same old thing again and again. Hehe. But the money was pretty good, and you didn't have to work with a bunch of adolescents. Most people in the industry were very nice.
Mentors Who Shaped Me
I had some really good mentors who taught me everything. Guys who really knew their stuff.
Got into the film business with an internship. S.’s company took me in. The guy was a genius. Eccentric, maybe a little crazy, but a genius nonetheless. Best photographer in Baltimore back then. Taught himself everything. Wasn't afraid to try something new. He knew all the equipment, all the techniques.
When I first started out, I knew nothing. But I got to work with some great people who knew more than me and weren’t afraid to teach. Weren’t afraid of me moving ahead of them. There was S.M., J.L., B.M. and G.C. All smart guys, all taught me a lot. J.L. really took me under his wing. Can't give enough credit. He was younger, but he just knew his stuff. S.M. was probably the best person I ever worked with in my whole life. Knew everything, always there to help. He worked for me for 20 years. I never had to worry about anything if S. was on it. A fantastic designer. They were all geniuses in different ways. Some technical, some creative. All special.
Now, I see myself as a mentor too. In my role as a father and at work. If people look up to you, you have to pass on what you were given. I tried to mentor everyone I worked with, and my kids too, though not always perfectly. You learn from bad things as much as good.
Life is Short, Sometimes Very Short
Losing my parents young, my mother to failed heart surgery and my father to cancer, just six months apart, that was tough. But not much I could do. Go forward. I just had to go forward. I was almost done with college, and my mother wanted me to finish, so I did. I'm not a quitter. I just don't do things that way. That was a defining moment, losing them both. I was 27.
That made me think about things a little different. I made a conscious decision. I decided I'm not going to wait till I'm done with everything to live life, because then I'll never get to. I always decided to go for it. Once J. and I got invited to a wedding in England, so we just up and went to England for a weekend. Most people wouldn't do that. But we did. Because we knew we might not get another chance. Don’t put stuff off. You can’t count on a second chance.
My Legacy
For those who read this later, stay focused. Don’t be afraid to shoot for a better life and chase your goals if you have them. Follow what your heart tells you, but don't expect that to be a singular focus. Whatever that focus is, whatever you gotta do, roll with the punches and keep going.
I hope people remember that I taught my kids the right stuff. And I was always there for them. I hope they remember me as a hard worker and that I was pretty loyal with people. I had high expectations, but as long as people met them, I'd do anything for them.
Well, I think that's about it. It's been a pleasure talking about all this. Lived quite a life. But that’s because I tried.
Letters Without Limits is a student-led initiative founded at Johns Hopkins and Brown University that partners with palliative care and hospice patients to create “Legacy Letters,” autobiographical narratives capturing memories, values and lessons patients wish to share. Their primary goal is to spread these stories so that every patient’s voice is heard. Follow them on Instagram @letterswithoutlimits and read more Legacy Letters on their website.
