A representative for Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt told the Associated Press on Tuesday that the "couple is proud to announce that there has been a new addition to their loving family.
"Angelina and Brad have adopted an adorable Taiwanese boy and can't wait to take him home and show him all the love that he deserves." The representative later confirmed that the Taiwanese boy in question is acclaimed director Ang Lee.
Jolie consented to a telephone interview on Wednesday. "You know," she said, "there are so many children in this world who never receive the kinds of care and opportunities that they deserve. Every child should have the chance to become anything they can dream of - from an astronaut to an Academy Award-winning director."
"But unfortunately," continued the gaunt actress, "geography and geopolitics have conspired against so many children. Just because they were born in a poor or unstable country, many promising young minds will never get to do marvelous things, such as earn a master's of fine arts from New York University."
Asked how the 53-year-old Lee would fit into their family, Jolie acknowledged that he was "a bit" older than the other children she and Pitt have adopted but explained that they "were looking for a different sort of parenting challenge."
She further stated that the couple hopes that "Anggie" would be a "good big brother, a role model" to their other children, named Maddox, Pax, Zahara and Shiloh.
Jolie said that she and Pitt have planned several trips and activities to help Lee feel comfortable within his new family. "We're going to take him to Disney World. All kids love that. And especially for a child from his background, it should be great.
"He's probably never seen stuff like that before, all the lights and sounds and rides ... But don't worry, Brad and I are all prepared to explain to him that the animatrons aren't real. We don't want our sweet baby Ang getting scared."
"How often would a little Taiwanese boy get to experience something like that?" Jolie continued. "We have really high hopes for him. Maybe one day he'll get to do something special, like be the assistant director on a student film made by someone as acclaimed as Spike Lee ... Of course, we'll educate him in all the childhood classics, everything from the Hulk cartoons to Jane Austen novels. We want him to be well-rounded and prepared for whatever career he chooses when he grows up."
Ang Lee himself was unavailable for comment, as Jolie said that she and Pitt wanted to protect him from the media as much as possible.
However, Lee's spokesman, Paul Chen, called the adoption "quite absurd." He wondered how it was even possible, saying "Don't these people realize that Mr. Lee is not a child? He is a grown man. He's married. He has two children of his own! How can you adopt a 53-year-old man?"
"Frankly, it's insulting," Lee's spokesman continued. "They think that they can adopt anyone they want, as long as they come from an exotic-sounding place. Ang Lee is more accomplished and respected than the two of them put together! He's directed several of the greatest movies of our time, including Brokeback Mountain and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. He's won an Oscar and been nominated for two more!
"What have they done, Mr. and Mrs. Smith? Oh sure, it's entertaining, but does it explore the role that tradition, family and obligation play in determining the paths that each of us must choose in pursuing our lives as independent, modern adults? No. You know what does? The Wedding Banquet. Know who directed that? Ang f---in' Lee."
