Decorate your privates for added sensitivity

We live in a nonsensical world. Often we hear or read things that make us utter, "WTF?!" For example, how is it possible that we elected a male cheerleader from Yale as president? Why is Britney Spears going without underwear and exposing her ladybits to the entire world?

Another one of those "What the hell?" moments is triggered by the thought of genital piercings. Even as I write this article, the thought of genital piercings has me dumbfounded. But I must remember that here at Hopkins we are dedicated to the exploration and discovery of truth. So why exactly do people choose to pierce their most sensitive and private parts? How painful is it? Does it actually increase sexual stimulation? The first thing you should know is that genital piercings require commitment. You must be able to care for your newest bodily enhancement so as to prevent infection. The healing process can take up to 12 months, depending on the type of piercing. There are sexual limitations as well. Some piercings require less strenuous or vigorous sexual activities. It's up to you to decide if the responsibility is worth that extra pleasure.

Male Genital Piercing

Beginning with the boys, let's look at the various options they have for genital jewelry. Overall, these piercings do in fact increase sexual stimulation by providing another form of friction during sex. It is a misconception that genital piercings are extremely painful. Though there is a high concentration of nerve endings in the penis, specifically in the head, these nerves are specialized to sensing pleasure and are not as receptive to pain.

The most common piercing is none other than the Prince Albert. With only a two- to four-month healing time and a lower risk of infection, this is the favored choice of males. A needle feeding tube is inserted into the urethra and the needle is fed from the outside in through the tube. The ring hangs out from tip of the head down below. Minimal cleaning is required for this piercing and you only have to remain abstinent for one week.

The second most popular male piercing is the Frenum, which also causes minimal pain and has a quick healing process. The Frenum is essentially a piercing of the flexible skin on the underside of the penis' shaft. If you have a high tolerance for pain or think one piercing isn't quite cutting it, you can create a "Frenum ladder" by having multiple piercings all the way up the shaft.

For the circumcised gentleman, I have good news. The Dydoe piercing will help you regain the sexual stimulation that you lost with the destruction of your foreskin. This piercing is placed through the ridge of the head and there are no limitations on the number of Dydoes a man can get. Essentially, you could encircle the entire head in silver barbells. For the success of this piercing, the head of the penis must be large enough to hold the jewelry. Complications include tearing during rough and wild sex. That would certainly be a buzz kill! Without leaving out the uncut males, there is also a foreskin piercing.

One of the most dangerous and painful piercings is the Ampallang. A piercing is inserted horizontally through the entire head of the penis. It's vital to make sure the piercing is straight as it could disrupt important nerves and arteries necessary to the penis' function. Some will require the penis to be erect when marking the piercing, so be prepared to get it hard in front of your piercer. The needle must be slowly fed through the head to ensure that it goes straight through. Excessive bleeding is normal and healing can take up to one year.

Now you may be thinking, "My penis looks great but the rest of my package seems too plain." The Guiche is the piercing of the backside of the scrotum close to the anus. The healing process is complicated due to the lack of ventilation and temperature, and it is not recommended for cyclists --- sorry, cycling team! Guys can also get a Hafada, a piercing of the scrotum, which, according to Elayne Angel, president and founder of Rings of Desire, Inc., is virtually painless because of the elastic skin.

Female Genital Piercings

The ladies have just as many options when it comes to decorating our favorite parts of our bodierating our favorite parts of our bodies. The most popular piercing is the Vertical Clitoral Hood in which the barbell is placed vertically through the skin covering the clitoris. This piercing has a minimal healing process of four months and is comfortably situated between your legs.

The piercing sits on top of the clitoris without going through. In a study conducted by the University of South Alabama, it was proven that VCH provides increased sexual satisfaction through added stimulation of the clitoris. There is also a Horizontal Clitoral Hood piercing, but it is solely aesthetic. Like the HCH, Inner and Outer Labia piercings are to add sparkle down there. None of them provide a great difference in sexual satisfaction.

The Triangle piercing similar to the HCH goes through the hood of the clitoris horizontally; however, the Triangle goes through the bundles of nerves behind the clitoris. This piercing supplies stimulation from the back of the clitoris ---- an experience that is otherwise impossible. Many women will wonder whether the VCH and Triangle provide more added stimulation. Both have the same overall effect but differ in the location of stimulation (VCH from the front, Triangle from the back). Some women end up getting both!

The most rare and serious female piercing is that of the clitoris itself. You must have a large clitoris and a hood that does not cover it tightly or heavily. It is an intense process and you should find a well-qualified piercer before committing. The result is a large increase in sexual pleasure directly from the most sensitive female organ.

Whether it's to enhance your sex life or simply add a bit of color on your family jewels, genital piercings are becoming more popular. You may still be thinking "What in God's name?!" but there must be some reward otherwise it wouldn't be so popular. For 20 years, one woman thought she was physically unable to experience sexual satisfaction, but after getting a Vertical Clitoral Hood piercing, she came harder than two decades of orgasms combined. That's definitely something to think about.