Sitting with a couple of guy friends one night, watching my favorite quality movie, Cruel Intentions 2 (yes, there is a sequel, and apparently even a third installment), one of them decided to share a sexual experience a friend of his recently had.
I won't go into the details, but a girl had apparently tried something a little too adventerous. While such a move would've been hot if she were a porn star, it instead ended up scaring the guy she was with. This got me thinking--what porn star moves should be kept to the small screen and what lessons might girls and guys get out of some choice viewings?
I've written before that I don't think watching porn should substitute for communication about sex in a relationship. In fact, ever since a guy I was seeing showed me my first skin flick, Captain Blowjob, I've never really been all that interested in sitting down and watching porn. But for this week's topic, I enlisted the help of a few veterans of porn viewing to help me out.
Indeed, there are some things we can all learn from porn. However, it's always a fine line to walk.
One of the big turn-ons for guys who watch porn is that the starring ladies look like they enjoy what they're doing. While not all real girls will pull the dead fish act in bed, they won't hit Jenna Jamison energy levels.
As someone who's been woken-up out of a dead sleep by an overzealous roommate, I don't suggest necessarily pulling your own Briana Banks, but showing that you are actually happy to be there, instead of just being happy to be getting some, will go a long way.
Once you've taken that step, you also want to ensure that your partner is happy as well. Some foreplay by building your oral skills wouldn't hurt--think of it as a warm-up before the main event.
Way too often, the basics get left behind. You need a build-up--when you don't, things can get boring. Being able to pull out more tricks than just falling onto him is useful, no matter how inexperienced you are.
Last year, we went over the basics for eating an ice cream cone well enough to stop traffic. Here is the Cliff's Notes version: hands, visuals, tongue, and take your time. To explain, when talking with friends, I asked why exactly they watched porn. One answer was, "Well it just looks like good head."
So what makes it actually good? One example is use of hands. Try unscrewing something, anything, with just your lips -- how'd it go? You have a high concentration of nerves in your hands for a reason, so put them to good use. Maybe not exactly what evolution intended, but oh well -- they will take off a lot of the workload from your mouth and let you mind the ever important step-children.
"Minding the step-children" isn't difficult -- keep your nails filed, your tongue moving, and remember to be gentle. Be careful, because if you make a wrong move, you'll be shunned. But just a little good attention in that direction and you'll make it into the step-mom hall of fame.
Finally, porn can be a turn-on for some because it's a break from reality--so why not give your partner something that he/she wouldn't expect every day? I'm not suggesting that you need a nurse outfit or something--actually I think a nurse outfit at a pre-med school might be a bit much (to quote Nip/Tuck, "A jockey doesn't want to come back to find his girlfriend dressed like a horse"), but the idea is to remove your encounter from the everyday grind.
This can require as much effort as lighting some candles, wearing something new under your jeans, or buying a new toy.
Or you could try "nice talk," or finding somewhere--anywhere--new to play ball (note: the dugout has become pretty popular, and I'm sure the AMR II kids are all thrilled).
All it takes is a little bit of confidence and you'll be able to pull it off. Porn stars are hot, and it's not simply because of what they do--they're hot because they know what they want and they go for it. Balls to the wall you might say.
Past these basic lessons, it's personal preferences. Some of those positions just look kind of uncomfortable to me and really, I would rather avoid their HIV scare as well--but we don't have to copy them exactly.
I still wouldn't suggest that you run out and rent Captain Blowjob, or come up with a porn name in bed (your first pet's name and the street you live on are a great combination), but try adapting even one of these tips into your routine between now and finals.
And maybe his next suggestion will be for you to try making a video of your own.
