A week from today, many of us will be among family and friends, celebrating all for which we are grateful by consuming the annual Thanksgiving Feast. And in the spirit of this great American holiday, I would like to share with you some of the many things that deserve my gratitude.
First, we should give thanks for glorious Hodson Hall. The Hodson Trust has rewarded deserving students with merit-based scholarships for many years, and the latest gem on our campus is a gift to our entire institution. It is a state-of-the-art facility, and has made learning a more interactive and enjoyable experience for the many students lucky enough to attend lectures in the high-tech auditorium.
I am especially thankful for the ergonomic swivel chairs that make sleeping through class an impossibility, thus ensuring that I am awake and somewhat alert as my professors share their wisdom. And I can say with confidence that the men and women whose job it is to fix the broken projection screens and other malfunctioning equipment are equally grateful. For without the gizmos-gone-kaput for them to repair, they and their families could not afford that roast turkey with dressing. And little Johnny would have his brother's old sweater waiting for him under the Christmas tree instead of a new Pokemon game. So we should set aside a thigh, with extra gravy, for those who made Hodson Hall and little Johnny's Christmas possible.
And we must be thankful for i-Site, the easy and convenient new way to get directions around our modest campus. But the computer consoles are more than interactive maps; i-Site has a daily calendar of events for students and visitors to peruse. I, for one, give thanks that the system lists meetings where I can find free food and movie screenings where I can catch a motion picture classic. But more importantly, I am so relieved that visitors still come up to me to kindly ask for directions, sometimes walking right past the lonely computers. It makes me feel so good to be able to share my knowledge of our Homewood with the clearly lost and confused guests of our school. And the gift of helping others is greater than the sum of all the cold pizza and flat soda in the world. But I will, however, partake of a great gangster film now again, and for that, I am thankful.
I personally am grateful for the Homewood Garage. I finally have a parking spot in the exclusive and secure enclosed lot. And although I do not yet have a car, there have been whispers that Santa will acknowledge my 21 years as a good young lad by presenting me with a shiny, gasoline-powered mode of transportation. And it is of great relief to me as well that the plans to tear down the garage this summer will not interfere with finding a spot for my car, for I will be graduating this spring. I can only imagine what it must be like for those who are having their precious parking spaces snatched away. Rest assured, when I am gorging on cranberry sauce and creamy mashed potatoes, I will be thinking of those poor souls and their soon-to-be unprotected vehicles.
And finally, we should give praise to the staff of the Ralph S. O'Connor Recreation Center for having the foresight to install a heavy bag in the weight room. Now I can finally realize my dream of becoming a professional boxer. Someday I will proudly step into the ring against Roy Jones, Jr. and give him a good left-right for old Johns Hopkins. An extra glass of wine must be had to thank the University for helping me to fulfill my sincere desire to be savagely and brutally beaten.
But the heavy bag represents something even greater than the glory of prize fighting. Now fraternity brothers have the necessary facilities to prepare for the inherent weekend scuffles that boys find themselves in from time to time. There is nothing quite like a jolly fracas between drunken college men upholding the sacred values of charity, philanthropy and brotherhood that their respective organizations represent. A slice of pumpkin pie for the fraternity men, I say, and extra whipped cream for our fine gymnasium.
On second thought, perhaps next Thursday we should take the time to acknowledge the things in our lives that truly do matter: good friends and loving family. Have a happy and safe Thanksgiving holiday.
Please note All comments are eligible for publication in The News-Letter.