Welcome freshman. You have entered the fun and exciting city of Baltimore. Like any new place, Baltimore and Johns Hopkins have their own interesting customs. We here at the News-Letter want to make the transition into Baltimore less painful. And thus, here is a list of local terminology that you NEED to know.
AC
The Athletic Center. They just added a huge extension to this place. It's all new and modern, so there should be no complaints now. They have basketball and racquetball courts, a climbing wall, a weight room, lots of exercise equipment like treadmills and stair climbers.
AcPro
Academic Probation. Avoid this by not getting below a 2.0 GPA, not taking less than 12 credits a semester and not pledging WaWa. You have to be pretty stupid or drunk to end up on AcPro.
Arts and Crafts
Arts and Sciences. Basically this is what everyone in the engineering school calls the Arts and Sciences people. The classes may be easier and have more girls, but what are they going to do after graduation? Interact with other humans?
The Beach
The grassy hill between the library and N. Charles Street. Students used to have large drinking parties on the Beach, but in recent years that activity has become a no-no. When the weather is nice, you will find chicks in bikinis and frisbee players here.
Beast
Milwaukee's Best. The cheapest beer around -- it's a frat party favorite.
Beirut
Although some Beirut dilettantes may tell you that it's the same as beer pong, it most certainly is not. What one does not know and study, one cannot appreciate.
The Block
Go downtown to Baltimore Street to find The Block. Let's just say that if you wanna try out the multi-angle feature of your DVD player, this is the place to go.
Bloomberg
"You bet I did. And I enjoyed it." Alum and New York City mayor Micheal Bloomberg can say this phrase about both sparking a doobie and plastering his name on everything at Hopkins that doesn't move.
Brody
The guy in charge. The prez. The big cheese. The guy whose salary makes SLAC jealous. He lives behind the president's garden, which you will discover come Spring Fair.
BME
Biomedical Engineering. People who major in this are crazy and probably won't have much of a social life. See Phys Found.
Breezeway
The area on the upper quad between Aimes Hall and Kreiger Hall. When people stand here and try to give you stuff, ignore them as if they were that bum on Charles Street.
CVP
Charles Village Pub. A great place to hang out, located on St. Paul between 31st and 32nd street. Beer, food, locals, this place has it all.
Compendium
The guidebook they give out to the freshman that will soon end up keeping the legs of your bed even.
CONDOM
That thing you wear on your schlong. Also, College of Notre Dame of Maryland. Located just north of us on Charles Street, this place is home to many fine-looking females.
The Daily Jolt
A website where a few very disgruntled students troll message boards complaining about how much this school sucks. It's also a great place to go to look up take out food phone numbers.
Death Lane
The one lane of Charles Street that runs south next to the three northbound lanes. Its only "open" during rush hour, but morons drive down it all day long. People often forget to look both ways when crossing, hence its name.
DMC
Old School Rap group and The Digital Media Center. Located in the Mattin Center, the DMC has high end computers, scanners, drawing tablets, video editing equipment and all kinds of other electronic goodies. You can borrow some of their equipment including digital video cameras and sign up to use their facilities like their recording studio where you can pretend you're Snoop and mix your next album with all your homies and a phat sack of the chronic. Or not.
D-Level
The lowest (and lowliest) level of the library. It's most busy during finals, but has established regulars. Try not to make any noise down here unless you enjoy dirty looks from people who take studying way too seriously.
E-Level
This hangout is not located in the library; it is actually in Levering next to the Great Hall. Back in the day, this used to be a bar where alcohol flowed like water to people of all ages. Like everything else that was once cool here, it was raided and now blows.
Gatehouse
Located on the corner of Art Museum Drive and N. Charles St, the campus legend is that the News-Letter world headquarters was once slave quarters. This legend is false, since it still is.
Glass Pav
The Glass Pavilion is located above Levering Hall on the north end. It's hard to miss; it's the all glass enclosing. Job fairs and social events are often hosted here.
Greenmount
Head east a few blocks and you will find Greenmount. You can't miss it. Look for people selling crack, cheap liquor stores, and lots of sketchy folk. It's walkable during the day, but if you have an insatiable craving for lake trout at midnight, you might want to roll up in a Popemobile or a similarly bulletproof mode of conveyance.
HAC Lab
The Homewood Academic Computing Lab is located on the second floor of Kreiger hall. When entering from the upper quad, you have to go down two flights to get there. They have Macs and PCs. Just don't forget your Jcard, printing isn't free.
Hop Cop
Hopkins security personnel. These guys do their best to keep this campus as safe as possible. If you see them riding around in their miniaturized SUVs, give them a wave?they work hard for us.
The Hut
The Alfred A. Hutzler Undergraduate Library, located in Gilman Hall. Just walk in the main entrance and go straight; you'll walk right in. Its open 24/7 but its usually too damn hot in there to do anything but sleep.
IFP
Introduction to Fiction and Poetry. It's how many people get their "W" credits. I wouldn't take this if you don't like being critiqued by egotistical TAs and classes full of cut throats.
IR
International Relations. There are a ton of girls who major in this. Just don't expect to be studying with them?they take their work seriously. If you're a CS major, this means Information Retrieval, but who talks to CS majors anyway?
JCard
That nice little blue card with your picture on it. Carry it with you at all times. It gets you into the Library, the Hut, the HAC Lab and the dining hall. You'll also need it at other random places.
J-CASH
Money that you put on your JCard that can be used at Levering, MegaBYTES, and many off campus spots. You can also pay for laundry and printing with J-CASH. It really does beat carrying cash sometimes.
Jay Store
The most overpriced convenience store ever. I'm not even going to tell you where it is so you don't waste your money there.
JHED/JHEM
Johns Hopkins Enterprise Directory and Enterprise Messaging. One is a tool for stalkers while the other one is used to check your e-mail.
JHUNIX
The school's UNIX machine that used to be the main e-mail server. Now it's just used for file storage and hosting your web pages.
Lax
Lacrosse. Apparently our team is good.
Lower Quad
Also known as the Engineering Quad. You won't find any girls here but your will find many CS majors attempting to avoid daylight.
Master Plan
This should be done by now, but thanks to poor planning and management, the Master Plan lives on. Its goals were to beautify the campus. They've done a really good job; it's just that getting there was so painfully slow.
MegaBYTES
The convenience store in AMRII. They have a grill and a pizza place. You used to be able to get cereal and things like that here but now you have to go the Jay Store for that.
MSEL/MSE
Milton S. Eisenhower Library. This six story building runs four stories underground. On the top two levels, you will find people pretending to study but really socializing. On the bottom, you will find people who don't know how to socialize.
News-Letter
The only official weekly undergraduate paper of the Johns Hopkins University.
Occ. Civ.
Occidental Civilization. They have like four classes with this name. Don't be afraid, it's just history.
Orgo
Organic Chemistry. One bitch of a class. Have fun second semester.
Peabody
The JHU music conservatory in Mount Vernon.
Phys. Found.
Physiological Foundations. A BME torture ritual that occurs during the junior year. It's supposed to be the hardest class on campus, but we wouldn't know; none of us are crazy enough to take it.
PJ's
A bar right near the Charles where mostly lacrosse types hang out. Apparently they actually card here. Also watch out for brawls in the back hall, which is "not actually part of the bar."
Premed
It's what everyone here is, right?
Rape Steps
The stairs just north of the Beach leading up from Charles St. towards the freshman quad. Rumor has it that these steps were designed to fit the stride of a woman so she could outrun a potential rapist.
ResLife
Residential Life office. There's one in AMR II and one in Wolman. They are responsible for ruining your fun in the dorm.
RoFo
Royal Farms. A convenience store located on St. Paul and 33rd. They have great fries and chicken, but good luck getting the staff to care enough to actually sell you some. Avoid this place around 12:30 a.m., or you might get held up. This place probably won't be around past this year so enjoy it while you can.
Rotunda
A shitty mall located on 39th Street. They have Giant, CVS, Radio Shack and a damn good pizza place that apparently delivers now.
SAC
Student Activities Commission. They hold monthly meetings where leaders of student groups come to waste time, I mean discuss important business.
Schnapp Shop
Located on the corner of 30th Street and N. Calvert Street, this liquor store has most drinks you'll need short of kegs. Just wave at the nice lady who runs the place as you enter and you will be all good.
Spring Fair
Every spring, Hopkins hosts a weekend long festival. There's craft booths, lots of good carnival food, rides, games, a concert and a beer garden. In past years, we've had Eminem and the Roots. Hopefully this year the act will be equally as good.
StuCo
Student Council. They have officers from every class who meet and discuss issues and try to get good shit done. Most people are just doing this for their resume, but once and a while, you get someone who really cares.
Throat
Cut-throat. People who will do anything to get the top grade. This includes, but is not limited to: hiding or taking out important books in the library, cheating, pulling fire alarms before a test and stealing notes.
UniMini
Located on the corner of 33rd and St. Paul across from Rofo (see above), University Mini Mart has nice people, good food and they take credit cards and J-CASH. Just don't expect to get out of there in a hurry.
Upper Quad
They say that girls walk around here.
WaWa
Alpha Delta Phi fraternity. Their house is located above UniMini (see above), which used to be a WaWa, hence the name. This place is known for its crazy shenanigans.
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