Hopkins students deserve the best, and only the very best. How do I know this? Have you seen the comment cards at Terrace and Wolman? Judging from some of the "constructive criticism", maybe the student body here is a little too epicurious. And, yes, I did make that word up. But let' s face it. This place isn't supposed to be the Ritz-Carlton. Or is it?
Evidence: "Strawberry jelly would be nice - grape gets boring." I think a nice filet mignon would be nice. Salisbury steak gets boring. "I've tried dozens of brands of soy milk; the best hands down is VitaSoy. The worst is WestSoy. Please don't buy WestSoy anymore!" You know, I prefer the cow milk that comes from spotted cows, but I guess that's silly. "More tortellini dishes, less apples in the baked beans." I'm sure your well-written argument for the proliferation of tortellini dishes was well received. But to be honest, I just didn't feel all that convinced with the apple thing. "We need the old honey mustard back - not the pale yellow honey mustard - the bright yellow stuff. Everybody else thinks so too." You're kidding, right? You could have written anything in the world on your comment card, and you chose to whine about a condiment.
Dammit kids! You don't mind if I call you kids, do you? Dammit kids, you have no clue what's wrong with the food here. You should be happy you even get any milk and mustard! I remember last year when we never had milk. Back in my day, stamps cost 25 cents! Perspective, people!
Why can't this school get dining right? Oh sure, I know this topic is editorialized and opinionized and blown-out-of-proportionalized on a weekly basis, but I have a legitimate complaint here.
Yeah, so maybe Wolman being closed on Saturdays is completely idiotic, and perhaps not being able to meal equiv. at Levering does wholly ruin any chance for those poor upper-classmen souls who are still on meal plan (i.e. me) from eating anything resembling food for lunch.
Wasn't the idea to keep the frosh and soph away from there and not me?
But that's not the real issue. Nor is it the fact that it is impossible to purchase a meal at the "new and improved" Megabytes without a) waiting 40 minutes for your sandwich or b) having to flex (OOPS, I mean, use J-Cash).
Out of curiosity, is it unreasonable to be able to afford your rewarding dining experience at Megabytes without flexing, I mean, J-Cashing? I guess the added cost pays for the ambiance of cooks yelling your number across the "cyber caf." I use quotes because I can. And the really sad thing is that Megabytes is finally halfway decent. I think. Yet I digress.
No, none of these trivial matters regarding the infamous tag-team duo of JHU and Sodexho-Marriott screwing over students really hits at the heart of the matter.
Speaking of pure genius (were we?), I think it might have been the guy who decided to close Wolman on Saturday who also decided to hide the trays and silverware at Terrace. Oh wait, now I remember how difficult it was to get them when they were right where you walked in. It's so much easier now that you have to dodge lines and deftly avoid ramming into people just to get a fork. At least they have milk this year. Wow, that skim milk sure seems a lot like 2 percent. But I'm getting off track.
The problem with the food service here at Hopkins is not that the school is greedy or that Sodexho-Marriott is incompetent.
It's not that our food options have been limited even beyond the veritable cornucopia of possibilities offered to us by JohnSodexho Hopkins in years past.
It's not that at Wolman they start putting the dessert away before anything else just to spite people (but, hey, let's give them some credit for that moldy orange).
It's not even the fact that Terrace is overcrowded, nor is it the convenience that is the effective closing of Levering, nor is it the sheer joy of waiting for fries at Megabytes when none of the 4 fryers are being used. The fries are pretty good this year, aren't they? They go great with a cold sandwich. But I'm getting off track again.
What is the real travesty that has struck the students at our very core? It's that Terrace no longer serves AllSport! I know we've all had to suffer through these troubled times together, but surely they can't take away our God-given rights! Please, if there is any justice on this Earth, let the AllSport once again flow from the Fountains of Terrace.
And after we get our AllSport we can shift our focus to the myriad of minor issues described above.
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