The official blue jay bucket list

Senior year nostalgia is kicking in, so I humbly offer a few must-dos before these short years are through.

1. Go full out for a lacrosse game.

It’s October and I’m already prepping for lax season, brah. Donated a kidney for a new pocket, tuned the spoon, already growing some flow so come springtime, it flips out the back of the bucket. Also stocked up on acrylics so I can bathe my body in Hopkins blue and white because nothing screams PRIDE like a maniac covered in paint yelling, “We want more!” over a goal. But actually, gather your groupies and yell for the original American game.

2. Do a day trip with JHOC (Johns Hopkins Outdoors Club) or OP (Outdoor Pursuits).

I must say, well worth your time and money, especially if you missed out on the shower-less bonding fest that is Pre-O. Man up and dip your toes into the grungy world that is nature and reminisce: remember that time before midterms when there were grass and trees? Remember that time before the government shut down all the national parks? First time white water kayaking is hilariously and exhilaratingly memorable, unless of course, you fall out and hit your head on jagged rocks under the turbulent sweep of a raging river. Details, details.

3. Hold a study sleepover at the BLC.

A day will come when the night never ends and for all the upperclassmen who live off campus, roughing it back home through knife-like winds (you know it gets chilly) just doesn’t seem worth it. I say, prepare yourself accordingly, toss a toothbrush, maybe a change of clothes, perhaps several frozen dinners into your knapsack and forget about the light/dark cycle that dictates sleep. We are HOPKINS dang nabbit, and we are destined to snooze in sweatshirts and swivel chairs, our heads nestled atop a chemistry textbook like it’s NASA foam. Bonus point, classmates with camera phones may launch your naptime photos towards Internet fame (does someone still update the BroLoCo Tumblr?)

4. Indulge in an order of Spring Fair fried oreos.

Hey, when it comes to food options, go hard or go home.

5. Dorm room pranks.

This one is not technically Hopkins specific, but it’s time sensitive so I felt compelled to put it on here. You have two years to live in on-campus dormitories, maybe one if you opt for apartment living as a sophomore. Pranks don’t have to be mean-spirited; pranks don’t have to involve heavy duty clean-up; pranks don’t have to be complicated. I may or may not have cling-wrapped my roommate’s clothing into a massive sphere. I may or may not have stuffed someone’s bed with assorted fruit. I may or may not have frosted over a balloon and pretended it was a birthday cake (actually, my roommate did that one, hil-AR-ious.). Prepare for the counter attack.

6. Climb into the Gilman Bell Tower.

So I don’t actually know how to get up there. Or rather, I don’t know how to properly sneak up there given that it’s locked most of the time. But I guarantee that you have a friend that does. Find that friend and do them many favors. Chipotle and laundry are good places to start. This is your charge, young knight. Go forth and God speed.

Now get back to studying, fool.