Published by the Students of Johns Hopkins since 1896
July 27, 2024

Magazine



Graduation officially to take place on Minecraft

In an email sent to the student body on Monday, University President Ronald J. Daniels announced that commencement for this year’s graduating seniors will be conducted virtually on the multiplayer online game, Minecraft. 


COURTESY OF ANNA L. RHEETENTIVE
To incentivize our death-driven students to quarantine, Hopkins needs grade deflation like never before. 

How this semester's covered grades will kill us all

This past week, all the buzz around the Hopkins community has surrounded how the University would handle grading this semester as a result of the coronavirus. As petitions advocating for A/A-, optional Satisfactory/Unsatisfactory and every grading system in between circled in group chats everywhere, many questions arose about the University’s institutional responsibility. 


SGA bans coronavirus from Homewood Campus

The Student Government Association (SGA) held its first weekly meeting over Zoom last Tuesday, March 24. Amid their usual discussions about student club policies and vague ideas of transparency, the council passed a bill banning the coronavirus from Homewood Campus. The Corona <<<<<< Natty Boh Bill outlines the concrete ban on COVID-19 and the process by which SGA senators will personally remove the disease from Hopkins and all students.


Amid pandemic, Hopkins students continue to not have fun

The coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic has been a source of distress for students across America, who will miss the joys of a college experience this spring.   At Hopkins, however, little has changed. For Hopkins students, who spend most of their time crying in windowless rooms in the bowels of Brody, self-quarantine has been college life as usual. 


COVID-19 designed to cancel Spring Fair

The News-Letter has discovered that Hopkins brought coronavirus (COVID-19) to the U.S. so that students wouldn’t be disappointed by the inadequacies of this year’s Spring Fair. Due to an organizational review led by Student Leadership Impediment (SLI) Director Calvin Hobbes, Jr., the annual springtime celebration was months behind on planning this year.


COURTESY OF THE ADMINS&nbsp;
Who needs to drink on the actual Beach when you can just change your background on Zoom?

Spring Fair will be held via Zoom

The month of March was pretty bad for Hopkins students, from campus closing to commencement being cancelled, but there has emerged a singular bright spot in the darkness of COVID-19. It was announced today, April 1, that Spring Fair will take place this year via Zoom. Students will be able to access the only event that makes Hopkins worth attending via a link sent to their student emails.



COURTESY OF STEPHANIE LEE

Struggling with validity in the Latinx community

I am Laís. I am Latinx, I am Hispanic, I am Brazilian, I am a woman. These are all my “identities,” and I accept these identities now, but that wasn’t always the case. I know in my heart I’m apart of the Latinx community, but why do I feel like because I have white skin and European heritage, that I’m not a valid member, even when it’s the identity I fit into the most? 


23andMe, myself and I

I just took a DNA test, turns out I’m 100 percent that b—. Well, not quite, but love you Lizzo. I took a DNA test in January, got the results a month later and found out that I’m not 100 percent anything. Don’t worry, it wasn’t some shocking turn of results — I knew my DNA would prove to be a multicolored pie chart.


COURTESY OF SARAH Y. KIM
As a child, Kim wore hanbok for special occasions.

Reconnecting with my Korean heritage in America

There is a cemetery in Korea whose name I do not know, far away from Seoul and deep in the mountains, where my maternal ancestors are buried. Apart from my grandfather who passed when I was eight, I do not know their names or faces. 


COURTESY OF STEPHANIE LEE

My definition of home and how it’s changed

What does it mean to go home? What, and where, is home? To most, physical roots are important to our identities: where we were born, where we live and where we come from. Sometimes, I’ve seen people get offended when someone from just outside of New York City say that they are from New York. I understand the indignation; I also have the urge to call out people who claim they are from Seoul when they aren’t. But why do we have this urge? Why does it bother us when someone who is not “really” from your hometown claims to be from there?


COURTESY OF STEPHANIE LEE

What I learned from painting my fingernails

Unlike Macklemore, when I was in the third grade, I didn’t think that I was gay. During my childhood, I was instead a mouthpiece of heteronormativity. While in kindergarten, a friend declared that she would one day marry a woman. I argued to her that this was impossible. Even earlier, when a boy in my preschool class showed me his navy-blue fingernails, I insisted that his hands resembled a girl’s.


COURTESY OF STEPHANIE LEE

Queerness, closets and coming out in college

It’s been over a year since I first arrived at Hopkins, full of hopes, fears and vague expectations for my college experience. That arrival entailed much fanfare from overenthusiastic FYMs and even more awkward introductions and icebreakers between me and my classmates. I expected that, and I’ll even admit I loved it in its cringyness.


COURTESY OF STEPHANIE LEE

On whether I should identify as white

“Well, you know, you look... different.” So said one of my friends during a casual dinner conversation one night. We noted that we were the only non-Asian people in the Japanese restaurant. The talk turned to race and how we ourselves identified. Both of us are Jewish, and both of us identified as white.


COURTESY OF STEPHANIE LEE

Moving to a city from rural middle America

Since moving to Baltimore and being at Hopkins, I’ve realized more and more the ways in which my upbringing in essentially the middle of nowhere influenced me. I spent as much time as possible during my childhood years outside, running through the woods and jumping in the lake with my little brother. The gravel road we lived on had virtually no traffic and we knew our neighbors well, so we had free reign to explore the acres of forest surrounding our log home. This may sound incredibly primitive, but one of the favorite activities of my siblings and I was to patrol the woods for dead trees and knock them down. Yep, it was a blast.


How my family shaped who I am today

“This old heart of mine been broke a thousand times” plays from the speaker on my desk as I finish up my homework for the night. I fall down a wormhole, and I’m back in the passenger seat of my dad’s Ford F150. The heat is blasting, and the “heater seat,” as we call it, is on level three. It’s the middle of winter in Valdosta, Georgia, so it’s about 45 degrees. We hot-blooded country folk can’t handle it. 


How college has changed how I've viewed myself

Aug. 11, 2016 was the first day I stepped on the Homewood Campus as a student. Like many 18-year-olds, I thought I had a good grasp on who I was and who I wanted to be, and I was so excited for what this new journey would bring me. I was coming to a top university to play football and to study to become a doctor. College was going to be the best years of my life, right?  


How to not graduate “on time”

For most of my life, I thought I was dumb. Or at least, incompetent. It felt like nothing I did was good enough, and the bureaucracy of semi-decent public high schools didn’t help much. Additionally, as I was finishing up high school, I saw how expensive college was, and so I couldn’t take the idea of college seriously. I didn’t understand financial aid, and my non-English-speaking parents certainly did not either. It wasn’t like I felt like I was learning much in high school anyways – how could college be any better? I was always just so tired all the time. What was the point? Was I just doing it all for a piece of paper? 


COURTESY OF STEPHANIE LEE

My relationship with God and physics

Sometimes the things I say sound like the babbling of a romantic idealist. My motivations for physics are too far removed from reality, my reasons for loving the subject too “soft,” and so I don’t know if I have ever really fit into the straight-back mold of an algorithmic physicist. 


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