The boy carries a white trash bag in his outstretched, open-palmed hand. Four distinct strands of hair stick up, like he’s been held upside down before being gently placed on the ground. He’s beaming as if he’s just heard the funniest knock-knock joke ever told; I can’t help but wonder what I’d say to him, if I had the chance. A decade-old relic, the view is asymmetrical: one of us triumphantly gazes into the camera as if to say, ‘we did that,’ while the other sits in a dorm room, the curved edges of a smile forming at the corners of his face.
If you had five minutes to talk to an eight-year-old version of yourself, what would you say?
That’s the question I’ve been grappling with as the semester comes nearer to a close. Not solely because of a newfound obsession with finding purpose, but also as an exercise in simple reflection. Imparting wisdom is tough in a time crunch, and with only 300 seconds, I’d have to move quickly.
Pressure is a Privilege
That gnawing feeling at the back of your head before you take a test is a gift. The tiredness in your eyes after a late night is a gift. Your life, your parents and your microscopic problems are all blessings. Take them. Hold them in your hand. Consider how many people would kill to be in your shoes. And not in the don’t-throw-your-food-out-because-children-are-starving-in-Africa-way. Or because of that killer collared shirt and khakis combo, either — the one that hastily accompanied many formal family dinners (as shown above). The breadth of experiences you will endure in the next ten years will shape you in the best way possible. And however much you think the world may be conspiring against you, I promise it isn’t. Life lets you learn by forcing you to grow. That’s privilege.
You Aren’t the Underdog… and That’s Okay
It often seems to be a point of pride when you indignantly tell others, “I will never be the smartest in the room, but I will always work the hardest.” There’s a certain amount of comfort stemming from the presupposition that you aren’t intellectually gifted, simply a hard worker. Your ‘smart friends’ are a safety blanket; for every ten minutes they spend studying, you work for hours to stay on the same page. Truth be told, one of the things you love most about yourself is the ability to work. An endlessly perseverant mind is your superpower, even though a lot of people will note a particular propensity to overdo it. When dad tells you, “You can do anything you put your mind to,” don’t roll your eyes. Know that achievement is only bound by your ability to believe. Failing is part of it, but you don’t need to repeat some mantra to make the wins even sweeter. You’re just as worthy as anyone else, act like it.
Fall Forward
If you knew all that was going to happen in the next ten years, I think you’d be a little surprised. You fall on your face a lot for a kid who waited until he was 17 to learn how to ride a bike. Luckily enough, you’ll get to experience familiar cliches of growing up in classics such as ‘families are complicated’ and ‘getting your heart broken.’ Still, the most important lesson you learn is how to recover. Every band-aid rip-off makes you feel more whole; each experience will show you how to love your life a little more. If you knew me now, you’d probably think we’re pretty cool. Surrounded by people who make us better and a place fueling that restless drive for more, you have all you could ask for. I’m making us proud every day. So are you.
P.S. Don’t try to put concealer on your acne — you’re colorblind, idiot.
After the breathless rush of five full minutes of talking, I’d hug that kiddo. He’s sensitive, so I try not to hurt him while folding him into a careful embrace. I hold tight to his fears and ambitions in that brief space before putting him down gently, so as not to disturb the four hairs still standing straight up. I want to think that I’d then vanish into thin air, disappearing in a Wicked Witch of the West-esque cloud of smoke. Eight-year-old me wouldn’t be able to understand half of what I told him, but I would hope he’d be smart enough to write it down for later. After all, that’s one thing he seems to be good at.
Bryce Leiberman is a freshman from Madison, Conn. studying Political Science and Philosophy. His column records a search for authenticity exploring the past, present and restless work of becoming oneself.
