Celebrate Lupercalia in Baltimore this week

I’m going to admit right now that this past weekend I spent most of my time either doing homework or putzing around on my computer. Friday night I went out but stayed around campus for the most part. I was so hungover Saturday I mostly didn’t move. Sunday I had to work, and even at the Super Bowl party I went to I was doing homework. I can’t honestly say this weekend will be that different, except for Valentine’s Day.

Valentine’s Day has never been a big deal to me, although I always liked the idea of it being associated with a martyred saint who died a horrible death. Fun fact, it is also associated with Lupercalia, an ancient Roman festival of fertility and purification. To celebrate Lupercalia, Romans would sacrifice animals and basically paint the city in their blood, especially their crops and women. The blood was supposed to bestow fertility and purity to those it touched. (Awesome, right?)

I’m not sure why we don’t do this today. It sounds like much more fun than all the shenanigans we partake in now, although if you were a woman, some sources say that you’d actually get hit if you were hit on.

Apparently being hit made you more fertile. Still, single people were paired up, instead of it being a couples’ holiday, and you got to sacrifice a goat, which is all in good fun.

Anyhow, for the present — those of you who don’t already have Valentine’s Day, er, Lupercalia plans, here are some fun things going on this very weekend that can get you into the spirit of the thing. Beware though: If you’re a single person of the melancholy variety, a Sunday hangover could be a little rough. Also, sadly none of them involve animal sacrifice to my knowledge.

For one, if you’re of age, a bunch of places are having drink specials on the 13th. These include the Ottobar, which will have $3 drinks 9-10 p.m., and possibly Grand Central, a gay bar in Mount Vernon. There’s also a pub crawl on the 13th. Buy tickets at baltimoresocial.com/valentines-bar-crawl-213 if that’s what you’re feeling.

Mobtown Ballroom is going so far as to have a FREE (woo!) Anti-Valentine’s Day Extravaganza, which looks to be a good time. If you haven’t made it out to Mobtown, you should; It’s in Pigtown and looks to have been a church at one point. They have a lot of fun dance events — square dances, swing dances, salsa and more — and have circus shows sometimes as well (including that of our very own circus club!).

Bastards of Reality are playing at the Metro Gallery in Station North on the 13th, along with Slagstorm, Cavern and Athame. If you’re into Black Sabbath and similar bands, you’ll probably like Bastards of Reality.

Plus their name is super fun to say.

No matter where you go, have a fun Lupercalia! I’ll be out behind the Rec Center in the dog park sacrificing a goat myself, so feel free to join me if none of these things sound fun to you.