Put down your phone and pay attention

Did you know that human brains aren’t capable of multitasking? Although it might seem as though we can, our brains are actually jumping between the things we’re trying to do at a very fast rate. This jumping takes time, which means our concentration is not as good as it would be if we were only doing a single task.

I started thinking about multitasking the other day when I was having a conversation with a friend. Okay, conversation might be the wrong word. I was talking, and she might have been listening, but I couldn’t tell since she was on her phone. I felt nonexistent and a bit insulted that what I was saying was less important than her phone. She was trying to multitask, but since her brain couldn’t actually do two things at once, her phone was getting more attention.

Phone addiction is a very serious illness. It affects people of all ages and strikes without warning. One day you’re not glued to your phone, and then bam, you are. This illness struck me when I got an iPhone a little over a year ago. I hadn’t gotten one yet because I knew I would become addicted. How could I not? There were people sending me little blue message bubbles, I had Facebook to check and recheck and Mail to refresh every 30 seconds. It was magical. But then I started to notice that I was ignoring my friends and family. I was so engaged in responding as quickly as possible that I forgot to pay attention to the rest of the world.

I decided to try using my phone less and paying attention more. Try is the operative word here, since phone addiction is really hard to quit. Now when I have a conversation, I do my best not to reach into my pocket and pull out my phone, I try not to text obsessively during meals with my friends, and I try to let myself text only when I’m alone or if I need to send a quick response to my mom. It’s really hard to do, but I am trying.

I wish everyone else would try too. I know that some people think it’s okay to text during a movie, Instagram while having a conversation or check Facebook during dinner. They think that if they don’t respond to their boyfriend or girlfriend immediately that the relationship is going to go downhill fast. Those of us who were born with cell phones in our hands really don’t understand what it means to practice cell phone etiquette because we were raised in a generation that lives and breathes phones.

Cell phone etiquette is quite simply the practice of being polite and respectful to those around you. Essentially, it’s a set of rules that tell us stop multitasking. These rules might be hard to follow at first, but they’ll help keep you more focused on the world around you.

Rule #1: Don’t check your phone while having a conversation with someone. You might think you’re being subtle or not checking that much, but the person you’re talking to will definitely notice. Being on your phone means you’re not focusing on the person you’re with, and saying “uh-huh” every few seconds does not entail a conversation. If you need to respond to an emergency message, apologize to your friend in advance and then quickly reply and put away your phone.

Rule #2: Don’t check your phone during movies. Please, please, please, please, please don’t. Everyone sitting behind you and next to you can see your phone even when the brightness is on the lowest setting. Trying to hide the glare in your sweater doesn’t help either. Checking your phone is unfair to the rest of the people in the theater who are there to see the movie since they get distracted by whatever you’re doing. If the conversation you’re having is so important that it can’t wait two hours, then maybe you shouldn’t be watching the movie in the first place.

Rule #3: No cell phones at dinner. Yes, you’re just eating, but you’re eating with someone, and that person doesn’t want to watch you check your phone throughout the meal. Instagramming your dinner and telling your friends about how they should come try your steak is not as important as paying attention to the person you’re with. Put your phone on silent, hide it deep in your pocket and don’t look at it again until you’re finished eating. The world can wait.

Rule #4: Don’t text and drive. This seems like a no-brainer, right? After all, if you text and drive, you could end up killing yourself or someone else. You may think you’ve mastered texting and driving, but again, there’s no such thing as multitasking. You can either do one or the other, but doing them at the same time means you’re doing both badly. I know I sound like a morbid commercial, but please don’t end your life or someone else’s because responding to a text was more important than paying attention to the road.

Rule #5: Don’t text during an interview or meeting. This may seem logical, but for some reason it does happen. You’re not paying attention to the interviewer or the person you’re meeting when you’re involved with your phone, so why should they want to pay attention to you?

I know rules are scary, but these ones are pretty logical when you think about them. Being polite to your friends and family really is important. Plus, you don’t want to be the one who’s ignored or not hired just because you were texting. It’s really hard to stop looking at your phone, but in the end it pays off.

The next time you’re in a situation where you can either use your phone or do something else, think about which one is more important. Do you want to hang out with your friends, or do you want to sit alone talking to someone through an electronic device? I know I sometimes have trouble putting down my phone, but being with my friends is more important to me.

Try putting your phone down every once in a while, and see how it feels. There’s a lot of freedom in not being attached to an electronic device. Instagram and Facebook will be okay without you for a few hours. I promise.