Violence is a vicious cycle, and we've all observed it in some way or another; some of us sadly practice it and subconsciously, that's all some people seem to know. Violence comes in multiple forms; be it an adult taking their frustrations out on his children, a child being bullied regularly at school or a petty argument gone wrong between a couple, violence seems to surround us. Starting from my elementary school days all the way into my 20s as a college student, I have witnessed, observed and heard stories of others dealing with violence. I think a lot of us have been put in one of these positions, only the levels of severity differ amongst us. In elementary school I observed bullying amongst my peers, middle school was the first time that I had heard of a girl in our class who was beat up by her boyfriend, and in high school I remember hearing some rumors about one of the girls in my class having problems with her boyfriend - he seemed to think it was acceptable to beat up on her as well. It wasn't until I got into college where I started to see patterns of violence in some of my own acquaintances and friends. As you know, violence does not discriminate, and both men and women can be the victims, but from my perspective, it's usually women.
The Chris Brown and Rihanna situation was brought out into the public not too long ago, and everyone seems to have an opinion. I've asked around just to get other people's thoughts. Sadly, some individuals think that Rihanna deserved what happened to her - even women seem to think this. Nobody other than those two knows what really happened that night, but really there is no justification for how her face looks in photos the night of the incident. I noticed how people were changing their stories after seeing the photo of Rihanna that TMZ published on their Web site; it went from "I don't feel bad for her, she started the fight" to "I feel bad for her, I can't believe he did that to her face." Did you really need to see a photo to think that Chris Brown was wrong for beating up on her? I know of women who get into fights with their significant others, sometimes hitting their boyfriends in the process. These men often are agitated and they don't believe in "discriminating," so they hit back. They hit back much harder and do more damage than what the girl usually does, whether it is choking her, giving her a black eye or punching her face in. Now, I can understand that sometimes there are heated arguments, and it's hard to control the anger, but walking away is the best option.
The safest thing you can do other than walking away from the situation is to call someone for help: a family member, friends or even the police, if it gets to that point. If your significant other bothers you that much that you even think about wanting to pound their face in on a regular basis, why would you want to be with that person? It cannot be healthy to surround yourself around someone that consistently makes you have thoughts of harming them, but if this is something that you are struggling with, you need to be aware of your problem. Sadly, some individuals justify staying with their abusive partner because they are afraid that there is no one else out there who will love them. There are a lot of beautiful people out there that are put down by their partners, being controlled in what to wear and how to dress. Control, manipulation and emotional abuse are just the beginning. Eventually it escalates to physical abuse. What happened to Rihanna was unfortunate but very common. A mistake a lot of women make is that once they get the courage to leave their abusive relationship they fall right into another; this vicious cycle needs to be stopped, whether you are the aggressor or the victim.
