Waking up next to a new face requires fast talking - Orgasmic Chemistry

Whether it's the spring season or the fact that you're hitting the real world soon, there seem to be a lot more stories that begin with "I'll just go out for a bit" and end the next morning with "Who are you?"  

So the question is, what do you do when you wake up less than fully clothed being spooned by someone equally naked and probably smelling of the same ID-required night before? 

First, I wrote this in an article last year -- you will avoid this whole problem if you don't sleep over and don't let anyone sleep over.

Some people protest, "Oh! But the morning sex is so good!" I would argue that many people are too hungover to have the morning-after game of hide-and-seek. Also, if the sex wasn't able to keep me up until the next morning, I don't feel the need to repeat it again once the sun comes up.  

If you know it just might be one of those nights, one way to help yourself out is to set the alarm on your cell. It gets you up the next morning if you crash in a bed that's not your own, and it also give you the, "I set this because I have to be at [insert location] early." So, let's say you're faced with a face you didn't expect to see when you open your eyes. There are some basic things to follow to make the morning a bit easier.

Do not say, "Just so you know, I don't normally do this." Either the person won't believe you or doesn't care. Safer topics include: the weather, where am I, or how did you sleep? 

If you are at a loss for words, I would also avoid all emotional discussions. Although this might not have been an actual booty call, same rules apply. Even if you just realized you're "in love" with the person, keep it inside. Make good conversation, get a phone number if you're interested and keep it at that. Leaving the night before behind and starting again at a later date, preferably before last call, is a better way to start a relationship if you feel the need. 

That brings us to the next point: Do not ask for someone's number if you're not going to use it. Just don't -- it'll be easier on everyone and you'll have one less number to delete later. Also, although it might seem OK at the time, there's no need to Facebook the person afterwards (this goes for poking as well, which I still hold is creepy no matter who does it). What are they going to do, check off the "one great night of once anonymous fun"?

Nevertheless, more often than not, someone (or you) leaves something relatively important behind that you need to get back to them/from them.

If someone leaves stuff at your place, don't hold it ransom hoping it'll be leverage for another good night. Also, if you're the one running out, do the basic check -- shirt, pants, shoes, jewelry, cell, wallet and keys. Mentally start at your toes and work up. Worse comes to worse, you can ask a mutual friend to do the dirty work and get it back for you. While this isn't exactly classy, it's fine if you think you'll see the person any time soon.

Finally, if you want to skip out and just leave the person with some hazy memories and messed-up sheets, leave a note (as long as you don't need to rummage through any desk drawers): "Sorry I had to run early this morning but I didn't want to wake you." It's short and sweet -- just how you wanted to leave the night.