Studios serve up rotten batch of summer cinema

"Bad and Baderer" pretty much sums up this summer's movie fare, save a few successes that caught us by surprise. In the stale movie environment that produced rubbish like the Jen and Ben debacle Gigli, it wasn't just the expected failures, ^ la Dumb and Dumberer, that met with box office demise.

Some films were simply poorly timed for summer audiences. Take, for instance, Down with Love, a semi-promising comedic romp with Renee Zellweger and Ewan McGregor. This witty sex comedy done in early 1960's style was actually somewhat clever but certainly not suited to the summer movie franchise, where children and teens rule the box office. Open Range, Kevin Costner's cheesy western, is another example of poor timing; in the middle of the summer, I was the only person under 50 in the theater.

The summer's action flick fix was provided by X2, Hulk, and Charlie's Angels 2: Full Throttle. X2 worked -- worked well, in fact -- easily outselling its predecessor. Rather than rehashing old stories or relying solely on special effects to carry the film, X2 provided both the brains and brawn needed for a summer comic book flick.

Hulk, however, suffered under the poor leadership of director Ang Lee (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon). While Lee is a certainly a gifted director, none of his previous work indicated a propensity for Spider-Man-esque success. Hulk became too heavy and ponderous to stay afloat. Chuck and his Angels had the opposite problem; their sequel became a parody of the original, providing ridiculously improbable stunts and three half naked babes acting goofy, but relatively little plot to weave it all together.

Then there were the sequels that should never have been. Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde is a prime example. Yes, the first time around the Barbie-meets-Harvard plot had a lot of charm and appeal, becoming a surprise box office success. However, I for one was certainly not clamoring to find out what happens in the next chapter of Elle's life. The studios need to let creative vision, rather than greed, direct their choices of sequels. Ditto for Lara Croft's return and T3.

Perhaps the biggest disappointment was a sequel that had the most potential for creative vision -- The Matrix Reloaded. The original Matrix was an impressive marriage of a complex, intelligent plot with some of the most innovative action sequences to date. It immediately garnered a mass cult following and left enough questions unanswered to practically guarantee a successful sequel. Sadly, Reloaded took the path of Charlie's Angels, delivering some truly awesome special effects but watering down the plot and depositing pretentious philosophical musings in small and annoying nuggets throughout the film instead of weaving them seamlessly into the story. While it rode to box office success on the coattails of the popularity of the first in the series, it can hardly be called a success.

A few underdogs, however, provided some quality entertainment to salvage the summer for moviegoers. One of the best was a movie about a pair of underdogs, namely a too-small horse and his too-tall jockey. Movies like Seabiscuit don't often do well in the summer months, but this moving film left audiences everywhere cheering -- literally.

Disney, however, wins the Triple Crown this summer. First, Finding Nemo, arguably the best film of the summer, created the perfect blend of humor, clever animation, and a cast of sea creatures more human than most of the bland characters in this summer's live action films.

Then, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl caught everybody by surprise. Who knew that a film based on a Disney theme park ride could be so good? Its success comes largely from its unlikely star, Mr. Johnny "Liquid Sex in those Dreds" Depp.

And perhaps most surprisingly, Disney's remake of the classic Freaky Friday left audiences in stitches and marked the comeback of actress Jamie Lee Curtis.

Finally, some indie films found success this summer, most notably the charming Bend It Like Beckham and the English horror film, 28 Days Later ... All in all a good summer for the Brits.