Hipster Handbook offers "deck' analysis

Hello, my name is Martin, and I am apparently a Hipster. One may ask how I arrived at this tentative conclusion. Well, quite simple, really -- I took the quiz.

Following in the tradition of the "For Dummies" manuals on everything from filing income tax returns to speaking German, it was only a matter of time before somebody latched onto the medium of the self-help/instructional text and spun it into something a little closer to fiction. And thus, Robert Lanham's The Hipster Handbook (Anchor Books) enters the sway with a thoroughly entertaining manual on how to identify, categorize, subcategorize and perhaps eventually become a hipster.

This book has just about everything anyone would need to study the hipster phenomenon. Though appearing as a pop-culture anthropological study of the disaffected urban dweller, the book is pretty exhaustive in its coverage of hipster material. In this way, the book seems so authoritative that even things that I suspect they made up appear to be real hipster phenomenon. Take for example the glossary, alphabetized and including such terms as berries, shellacked and jerry (hipster-speak for dollars, drunk and a hippie, respectively). The glossary also includes terms I suspect the author is making up from personal anecdotes, such as the term "boggle" for vomiting and "midtown" for someone who's uncool. In this way, the author seems to be mixing the anthropological non-fiction with his own inventions. And who knows, perhaps one day, these terms will enter into the hipster vocabulary simply because they're in the handbook.

In the area of self-diagnosing oneself as a hipster, the quiz is perhaps the most informative part of the book. When I took the quiz, I was shocked to discover how on the money I was for hipsterdom: I frequently use the term "postmodern" and it's abbreviation "PoMo," I carry a shoulder-strap messenger bag, wear horn-rimmed glasses, have one Republican friend I call my "one Republican friend," complain yet contribute to gentrification and have hair that looks best when it's unwashed.

And the hipsterdom doesn't end there. The book then goes on to describe the history of the hipster, chronicling why everyone from Sappho and Plato to Cab Calloway and Jack Kerouac was a hipster. Non-hipsters included John the Baptist ("If alive today, he'd be an ex-Deadhead following around Phish and selling pot brownies to make a living") and Raymond Chandler.

Subcategories of the hipster phenomenon become more apparent to the reader as the book progresses. In this (excuse the upcoming totally midtown word) handy-dandy guide, they not only include nomenclature and a definition of the hipster subcategory, but they also go into the many identifying categories of the hipster, including attire, presentation, background, life philosophies and aversions. There's the Clubber, a "younger hipster from the Gen-Y set who loves to dance, listen to electronic music and promote parties," though they often "believe whatever you tell them and are easy to steal from."

But this book doesn't only categorize people, it also categorizes the accessories commonly associated with the hipster. Hipsters smoke Gauloise and American Spirit cigs, but not Marlboro Lights ("Totally midtown and should be avoided"), they drink Cosmos and Manhattan, but avoid Long Island iced teas and Jagermeister. From haircuts and facial hair to tattoos and makeup, this book has everything associated with this socio-anthropological group.

Though presenting itself as an anthropological treatise on the hipster and his habitat, the book truly is a creative work, sometimes delving into fiction. If you think that you or your friends suffer from hipsterdom, then check out The Hipster Handbook. It'll surely help out with your diagnosis.