When my brother comes to visit me at Hopkins, he is amazed. Not at the lacking social life, or the well-kept campus, but rather at how much I rely on AOL Instant Messenger as a crucial part of my social and romantic life. In the four years difference between us, IM has made its imprint on college life, virtually revolutionizing traditional dating. Whereas he used to have to get up enough courage to call that special girl to see what she was up to over the weekend, I can just find out the IM name of the guy I'm interested in and check his away messages to find out where he will be. This brings me to my first point: the beauty of the endless amounts of anonymous stalking that Instant Messenger provides us with.
The old fashioned style of stalking is usually frowned upon, as people sometimes get freaked out when they notice you walking back and forth on their corner waiting for them to leave their house or following them to class after having memorized their schedule. Luckily, we now have a less pathetic and more socially acceptable way to keep tabs on our lust objects -- we can simply check their profiles or away messages to find out small tidbits of information about them and meanwhile, get an impression of their personality and humor. Sometimes, if we're lucky, the person will even post exactly where they are which allows for the perfect "coincidental meeting."
The brilliance of the profile/away message checking is that it works both ways. If you know that someone periodically checks your messages, you may be inclined to leave them a somewhat cryptic message that they will know is directed to them, but is ambiguous at the same time for anyone else who may find your information of interest. Also, the away message is a great tool for flirting or letting someone special know some random bits of information about yourself that would otherwise be strange to simply bring up in conversation.
If you're feeling saucy one night and want to make a bolder move, you may find yourself sending them an actual instant message. This can be disguised as a homework question or a study break, but the fact is, the person will know you're thinking about them. Starting to get acquainted through this process of casual written messages can take the nervous edge off and even lead to some innocent flirting. And who knows, the discussion could even escalate to the point where a date is planned.
Instant Messenger discussions have also become a crucial part of long distance dating. There is often nothing sweeter than coming back from a test or bad meeting to find a sweet message from a boyfriend or girlfriend. If the right message is used, this can also be a nice (or some might say lame) way to keep the fire burning in the relationship.
Fortunately, all of these tools come in very handy for dealing with a breakup as well. Assuming your ex has Instant Messenger, you can spend hours checking their information as well as sending them nasty messages from friends' IM names. This way you can release a bit of hostility without them knowing for sure that it was you who wrote it.
Of course, we should not lose sight of the fact that a real relationship requires actual physical contact and not just exchange of text messages and smiley faces -- of course, the occasional make-out session is encouraged.
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