By way of introduction this week, here are a few words of introduction. I know that's redundant, but I can be redundant if I want to. It's my column. Hell, I can even use the word "redundant" twice in the same sentence if I want to. In any case, as I've mentioned before in these little prefaces, there are times in the journalistic field when one simply can't control all the variables. Between what's assigned, what comes in, what is printable and how much space each section has, there are just some times when you have to make sacrifices, whether it be cutting something you don't want to cut, or putting in some that you'd rather never saw the light of day. Of course, here at the News-Letter, we never take the latter option. It would compromise our principles.
In any case, what I'm trying to do is put together an admittedly over-elaborate setup for an apology to all three or so of my dedicated readers for the conspicuous absence of "Placebo Effect" from the past few issues of the News-Letter. On the other hand, since all of those aforementioned readers probably know me pretty well, they'll probably excuse me for it. It's not that I don't love you all and sympathize with your deep-seated need to hear the minutiae of my life ad nauseam, but rather that I've been pretty busy lately.
Come to think of it, that makes a pretty good segue into my actual column topic.
The fact that I'm actually a senior has been hitting me pretty hard recently. Part of it is the unending laziness: I don't really seem to want to do anything except meander on the Internet, sleep, watch TV, and in the occasional bout of intellectual vigor, read some fairly random book from the library and stop in the middle. Right now it's the Tao Te Ching. It's an interesting book, but I've stopped in the middle and I don't know why.
The other element of being a senior that's started weighing on me is the paperwork. Why the hell do I have to fill out so many forms just to graduate college? There's a Scantron sheet just to see if I'm attending Commencement - it's like I'm taking the SATs all over again. Then there's the cap and gown rental form. I've barely looked at that, but it seems on be on carbon paper and require way more information than they could possibly need. Plus, they threw all the promotional material in with it, so you have to look closely to make sure that you're renting a mortarboard rather than buying JHU commemorative toilet paper.
And don't even get me started on trying to get more tickets. Four tickets? Four! I have seven people flying down here to hear my name get called in May, and by hook or by crook, I'm going to get them in. But no way I'll be quiet about it.
One more thing, while I'm reminding everyone that I'm a senior: I called the Student Employment Office the other day to get a duplicate W-2 form. I found out they had sent it to my AMR box. Now, I'm one of those odd souls who actually liked the AMRs, but I haven't lived there for three years, and everyone seems to know it but them. Never mind that I cannot for the life of me remember how this has been handled for the past three years. It's obviously been handled, since I haven't yet been arrested for income tax evasion. Sometimes it seems that the right hand doesn't know what the left hand is doing around here. Plus, I'm pretty sure that there's more carbon paper involved. I swear, this place has more carbon paper than anywhere I've ever been. Third World countries use less carbon paper in processing their income taxes than we use in registering for classes. Well, I guess we don't use it for that anymore, but still. My high school in Manchester, N.H., hardly a second Silicon Valley, didn't use this much. Welcome to the 21st century, people.
On a more positive note, I wanted to give a shout out to Hopkins Security. A few weeks ago, due to a technical snag at the N-L, I found myself back at the Gatehouse at around four in the morning. Despite the ungodly hour, however, a HopCop assiduously picked me up with nary a complaint. Kudos, guys. I really appreciate it.
That's all for now... I'm buried in paperwork, and won't be out 'til May.
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