The '80s Quiz

That said, the QM admits ? it's hard to fit the fabulousness of the 1980s into a single quiz. Everything was big in the '80s ? big politics, big fashion, big hair ? and most of it was unforgettable [read: regrettable]. The QM had quite a hard time deciding which pieces of 1980s historiana were worthy of a spot on the back page. For a while, she toyed around with the idea of trying to encompass all aspects of life in the '80s by devoting one or two questions to each area of life that she could think of: two questions about politics, two questions about sports, two questions about economics ? and so on and so on and so on. But then she got to thinking ? what were the '80s really about? Politics? Heck no! Economics? Not even! The '80s were about androgynous rock stars, Coreys and really bad hairdos. Snap bracelets. Molly Ringwald. Astronaut Ice Cream and Big League Chew. Video arcades. For the QM's generation, the only thing intellectual about the '80s was the Rubik's cube.

And so, thought the QM, why not devote the '80s quiz to such fluff which was the defining substance of the 1980s, fluff which should be infinitely familiar to anyone who grew up in the gaudiest decade since the 1970s. So grab a glitter pen and prepare yourself: It's the '80s Quiz!

Get your answers in by 5:00 p.m. on Tuesday. You can bring them in to the office, e-mail them to news.letter@jhu.edu, or fill out the quiz online (at http://www.jhunewsletter.com). The winner gets $10 worth of goodies from our sponsors, Eddie's Market and Eddie's Liquors on the 3100 block of St. Paul.

1. Michael J. Fox was big in the 80s. Lunchbox big. Cover of TigerBeat big. So big that few people noticed he was too small to get on most amusement park rides ? the actor cum activist stands a diminutive 5 feet 4 inches. Michael J. Fox rode the Hollywood pony from both ends ? he had a hit TV series and a series of hit movies. Name the television show which kicked off his career and the trilogy which secured his popularity with the teenage girls.

2. Along with the rise of superfluous limb warmers and the proliferation of nose candy as the upper-class drug of choice, the '80s witnessed the rise of a new class of American, now notoriously known for their accouterments rather than their accomplishments. Their penchant for four dollar cups of coffee helped put a Starbucks on every corner. They shop for Gucci and Givenchy on "Mad Ave," vacation in exotic locals like St. Croix and Nepal and drive around in Beemer convertibles at an age when they still have enough natural hair to be stylishly mussed when the top was down. They're young, ambitious and "upwardly mobile" ? their name comes from the acronym YUP ? what are they, and what does the acronym stand for?

3. If the fashions of the 1980s ever threaten to make a comeback in the way of bell-bottoms and go-go boots, the QM is going to start carrying a gun. Slap bracelets were pretty cool, and the QM still adorns her wrists with jelly bracelets, but it brings shame to the QM's heart to have been born in the decade that popularized gravity-defying hair and sweatshirts worn off the shoulder via a cut-out neck-hole. This latter fashion gaff was popularized by Jennifer Beale, who introduced the look in what '80s movie?

4. The fashion might have been questionable, but the music of the '80s, hands down, rocked. Match the hair band below to their manly yet moving hit song:

5. Who is behind the guitar solo in Michael Jackson's "Beat It?"

6. What does "E.T." stand for? How about "A.L.F?"

7. The QM ain't afraid of no ghost. In fact, her favorite movie of the '80s was Ghostbusters. Slimer, proton packs, a mad-scary dog thing that lived in the crisper and a marshmallow figurine the size of Godzilla ? how this flick was overlooked by the academy, the QM will never know. Name all four Ghostbusters, as well as the actors who portrayed them.

8. If someone asks you if you're a god, what should you say?

9. Personally, the QM never really understood what all the fuss was about. What could be so great about a bunch of moon-faced dolls with hair made of yarn, bowling pin feet and a knot for a bellybutton? They even smelled weird ? like an actual soiled baby. Just the thought of those legions upon legions of Cabbage Patch Kids, bought up and sought after by hordes of cabbage-crazed girls, sends a shiver of disgust up the QM's spine. As much as she would like to compost all those Cabbage kids back to the patch from which they came, she has to appreciate the fact that, without the Cabbage Patch Kids, there never would have been a certain series of gruesome sticker/cards, sold five to a pack with a piece of plasterboard masquerading as a stick of gum. The cards depicted Cabbage-like characters with names like "Slain Wayne" and "Half-Baked Heather" ? what were these cards called?

10. Who was the leader of the Decepticons?

11. OK ? one little economics question and then back to the good stuff. Back in the 80's, President Reagan tried to turn the country's failing economy around by using supply-side economics. For the non-econ majors, supply-side economics starts off with a tax-cut (usually one that heavily favors the rich), in the hopes that the rich will use that money to generate investment which, in theory, creates jobs which, of course, cuts unemployment, stimulates the economy and wins a second term in office for the man behind the plan. Fans of the Gipper called this economic idea Reaganomics. What did Democrats call it?

12. Who doesn't love looking back on '80s cartoons and picking out all the sex and drug references that weren't so obvious back when one was a wide-eyed child? Of all the '80s cartoons, few better lend themselves to such fun than The Smurfs. There were 100-odd boy Smurfs, one Smurfette and an elder Smurf in red who went by the name Papa. They lived in houses made out of Technicolor mushrooms. The only way to make the Smurfs more far out would be if they lived underwater ? oh. Wait. What do you get when you cross a Smurf with a snorkel?

Tie breaker: Name as many 80s era fads as you can remember.

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