Take some pride in your school No university is perfect. In the past five years, I have gone from being an optimistic freshman to a jaded and somewhat disillusioned graduate student who is ready to finish his degree and move on. Hopkins was always my first choice, and if I had to go through college all over again, Hopkins would still be on my list of potential schools. Some students, though, see Hopkins as a "safety school". Maybe it wasn't your first choice, but you know what? Like it or not, warts and all, every Hopkins student reading this article attends one of the top universities in the world. It's time that all the jaded students out there realize this.
Learn the fight songs and the alma mater - yes, we have them
If 100 Hopkins students were randomly polled and asked if they knew the words to either of the fight songs, I would bet that no more than 5 could correctly sing either song. Heck, I would bet that no more than 20 could actually give the proper name of either song. ("Johnny Hopkins on to Victory" is played when the football or lacrosse team takes the field, and "To Win" is played after points are scored. If you're curious about the lyrics, they are available on the Hopkins website.) Yes, the lyrics are rather archaic, but it's still a shame that they aren't widely known.
While I'm on the subject of music, I feel obligated to mention the alma mater, the appropriately named Johns Hopkins University Ode. The JHU Wind Ensemble plays the Ode at the beginning of every concert, but I've never heard it played or sung at any other university function - it's even absent from the undergraduate commencement. President Brody, if you're reading this, please take the necessary action to include the Ode in this year's commencement ceremonies. Doing so will instill pride in the attending students and alumni and give a badly needed sense of tradition to the university.
Student organizations: quality vs. quantity
We've been too chicken to admit it, but let's face it; there are too many clubs and organizations supported by the JHU administration. The abundance of clubs dilutes the potential membership of every other organization and reduces the amount of money available per group. Yet the university feels the need to suggest and even encourage us to start our own clubs if we can't find one that we like.
Rather than cutting a little funding from all groups (except for a precious few who received 100% of their requested budget), Hopkins should be cutting all funding from a few groups that can survive on the time, talent and treasure of their members. Making the group registration process more involved or imposing a minimum membership requirement for university funding would make for stronger, more durable student organizations. This action could go a long way toward ameliorating the budget crisis in the SAC, and incorporating the talents of the non-funded groups would strengthen those that did receive support.
Jacks of all trades - and I mean all
Continuing in the vein of quality over quantity - and it may be social sacrilege to say this - organizational diversity may be overrated. How many a capella groups do we actually need (we have eight)? How many dance-related groups do we actually need (we have five)? For crying out loud, how many literary magazines does one university need (we have at least four)? There are many organizations dedicated to volunteering and community service, but do they really need to be recognized by the university? The list of groups with overlapping missions could go on - but they still exist, unnecessarily consuming human and financial resources that could be applied to other organizations and facets of the university.
End voluntary segregation
Similarly, there are over a dozen university-sponsored groups called the (insert ethnicity here) Students Association or something similar. The intention of many of these groups is to make foreign students feel like a part of the university, but all they do is create a segregated campus where the Pakistanis and the Koreans and the Filipinos associate less with other cultures and more with their own. Hopkins prides itself on ethnic and religious diversity, and while some cultural events really do bring the campus together (e.g. Diwali), this is the exception rather than the rule. Understand that I don't believe that these groups should be disbanded or abolished, but perhaps some consolidation or incorporation between groups would better achieve the missions of these organizations.
C.V. should stand for College Vitality
Furthermore, I'm genuinely curious as to how many clubs were started by pre-meds who were doing so in order to improve their med school application. As much as I want to believe that no one would be that egotistical, I know that it's probably true. People like this are misguided - if you see your college experience as merely a way to boost your resume, you seriously need to rethink your priorities. College is way more than a stepping-stone to Harvard Med, and not enough people at this school realize this.
Majority rules with minority rights
I'm a pretty average white guy from the Midwest, which means my exposure to rap and hip-hop is pretty much limited to what gets played on the top-40 radio stations. Living on the East Coast for five years hasn't made me like this music any more, so when I heard that this year's Spring Fair act was a rapper named Talib Kweli, whom I'd never heard of, I was less than impressed. I understand that the Spring Fair Committee is constrained by budget, but a more mainstream rock act would be a more attractive option to students who didn't respond to the mid-December survey. Didn't we learn anything from the underwhelming turnout at the Blackalicious/Pharcyde concert in 2003?
And why are rock and hip-hop the only two options for such a concert? Shriver Hall was about 2/3 full for Dan Ahdoot's standup comedy show in February, and the crowd for Ant's performance during Spring Fair will probably be large as well. A bigger name in comedy would generate just as much buzz as a musical act, and comedy may have greater mass appeal than either rock or hip-hop. The Talib Kweli concert may very well sell out, but I won't be buying a ticket.
Fix our identity crisis
Johns Hopkins has produced countless successful alumni - Woodrow Wilson, Michael Bloomberg, etc. So why is it that we have labs and classes in buildings named the New Engineering Building and the New Chemistry Building? Why do several hundred freshmen live in Building A and Building B? These residence hall names sound less like dormitories and more like cell blocks, which is misleading, because they're actually pretty nice facilities. Wilson and Bloomberg already have their names on buildings, but what about (Rachel) Carson Hall or (Frederick Jackson) Turner Hall? Maybe (Spiro) Agnew Hall and (Alger) Hiss Hall aren't such great choices for building names, but any name would be better than the current generic monikers.
Take the edge off the bricks with some water
Over the last few years, much has been made of the tens of thousands of bricks that transect the campus. The bricks are a definite aesthetic improvement over the old concrete pathways, but when combined with the brick building architecture, it can be bit overwhelming. This is particularly evident in front of Levering, which is the site of a very high brick concentration. Why not put a fountain in the middle of that patio?It would make a fantastic landmark for campus tours, it would give the campus some artistic flair, and it would be a great way to cool off on a hot day. We could even start a tradition where students run through the fountain to celebrate the end of the school year. We already have one fountain near the Mattin Center, but the most fun anybody ever has with that is putting a bra on the statue. Come on, people, fill it with Jell-O or something!
Lighten up a little bit
If nothing else, relax. Education is the primary mission of Johns Hopkins, as it should be. This does not mean, though, that all waking hours should be spent in class or serious study Mark Twain is famously quoted as saying "I never let my schooling interfere with my education," and he's right. Too often, any attempts by students to lighten the somber mood are struck down by others who can't take 5 minutes out of their studies to watch an air guitar jam on the upper quad or listen to Christmas carols on the steps of McCoy during finals. Go out and watch a squirrel for a little; you'll feel a lot better and learn about rodents at the same time. It's a win-win situation.
If you're interested in writing an edition of "10 Ways to Improve Johns Hopkins, send an email to features@jhunewsletter.com.
