From flirtationship to relationship

Looking for a relationship? Start with a flirtationship. You don't see many couples around campus at Hopkins, but they're out there. They may be holding hands on the breezeway or sipping coffee outside Café Q, but when you do see a pair of love birds, you may find yourself asking the question, "Why them and not me?"

Those lucky few that are in loving relationships have managed to transcend the barrier of social ineptness that plagues our students and master the art of flirting. Impossible as it may seem, a few tactics put into practice here and there can help turn hopeless Hopkins homely into an irresistibly flirtatious heartbreaker.

Go to an on-campus event (that you like).

Contrary to popular belief, you're not going to meet them in the basement of Pike. And, why would you want to? If you're complaining about not meeting the right people, try changing the scene up a little bit. Go to events that have something to do with your interests, like a football game or a fall concert. This not only gives you the opportunity to meet a cool guy or girl, but it also gives you something in common that you can easily have a conversation about.

This is not to say good things don't happen, but most late-night encounters in basement parties have a different kind of happy ending. So go and have fun, just don't expect your hook-up to take you out to Miss Shirley's for brunch the next day.

Join a new club.

Whether it pertains to your hobbies or is something new you want to try, clubs on campus give you a great opportunity to meet new people and pursue your interests simultaneously.

Be a strategic texter.

If you're going to text her, fellas, don't wait until eleven o'clock on a Friday night. What does this look like? No romantic endeavors here, just a pretty blatant booty call.  I know, I know: The objective is to get her out and about so you can meet up and have a real conversation (as opposed to one via text). A little finesse wouldn't hurt, though. Shoot her a text around four or five and invite her to pre-game with a few friends. She'll be impressed enough that you don't expect her to come to your beck and call that she might even ditch her gal pals and join you.

Ladies, if you don't have something of significance to say, don't say anything at all. Texting him to say what you had for breakfast that morning and then getting upset when he doesn't respond is making you look like a psycho with separation anxiety. He's not a blog, so don't be making entries.

Step it up (both of you).

We've heard it all before. Jane likes Johnny, Johnny likes Jane, but both parties are too damn shy to do anything about it! Show interest in your crush, and you might find that you like their response. Confidence is one of the most attractive qualities in any man or woman, and truth be told, this isn't going anywhere if you don't take it there. So haul some ass and chat with the cute guy that sits next to you in Bio, or ask the pretty girl in your circle of friends for her number.

In the middle of a conversation, smile and compliment him or her on some physical attribute. It could be something as cheesy as "You have nice eyes," or "It's cute how your hair curls at the end." Whatever it is, the fact that you were even gutsy enough to outright say it will grab their attention instantly.

 

Take care of yourself.

Aforementioned confidence comes with the territory of feeling good about ourselves, and we tend to feel good about ourselves when we look presentable. Try wearing something that enhances what you already have. If your legs are long and shapely, wear a nice skirt that shows them off. If your eyes are your best feature, throw on some mascara to make them stand out on your face.

Make sure you feel comfortable with what you wear. Insecurity shows big time, and it's not cute. So, wax that moustache and file those nails, but don't overdo it; caked layers of foundation makes you look like Ronald McDonald and too much axe just smells like donkey ass. Decide what you like most about your body and play it up. Guys, wear clothes that fit your frame and broaden your shoulders. Girls, add a little eye makeup or lips gloss. But be careful; no matter how much of it you wear, makeup can't make you pretty. Embrace what you have and rock it. Confidence breeds respect and admiration.

Do not act aloof and disinterested.

This is counter-effective. Many women these days think the key to snatching a guy is to act "hard to get" and "mysterious." Words of wisdom, ladies: If he thinks he can't get you, he's most likely not going to try. It's a simple cost-benefit analysis. Why spend time and energy trying for a girl who's ultimately unattainable? And guys, unfortunately, the mentality that "girls love assholes" permeates our society, but allow that particular expression to be amended: "unrespectable girls love assholes." Honorable women don't take that crap. Enough said.

Smile.

When you see the person you're into walking down St. Paul St., look straight into his or her eyes (make sure he/she notices you looking) for a moment, look away, and then smile. A smile is friendly. A smile is approachable. Try looking at yourself in the mirror and thinking about licking chocolate off of your crush's naked body. Notice the slight smolder in your eyes? Look at them that way.

Don't underestimate the importance of body language.

There are little things you can do that look like perfectly natural gestures to attract the opposite sex. Ladies, give your neck some exposure and stand with your feet no more than six inches apart with your toes pointed slightly inward. This vulnerable position brings out the macho, protective side in men and makes you look easily approachable. Men should stand with their chest out and shoulders back, facing towards their intended. This gives the appearance of a bigger, stronger guy, and reinforces a woman's subconscious desire to be protected. Starting to sound a bit primal? It should. Girls, flip your hair to one side and stroke the side of your neck ever so lightly. Guys, stare at a particularly soft-looking spot on her neck like you want to give it some serious vampire action. That last bit alone may get you a date. If your name is Edward, you'll get as many dates as you want.

Real women want real men, and vice versa. He's not watching Breaking Dawn and she's not making you a sandwich. End of story. You should never settle for someone, but there's a fine line between settling and mak a rational, mature decision to accept someone for who they are, flaws and all. Women often live a nitpicky romantic life full of "I like this and this about him, but I'm going to change that and that." You can't change him, and you shouldn't be willing to accommodate yourself for his sake either.

Guys, pursue a female, not the option of female companionship. This isn't the men's department of Macy's; you can't try women out like they have price tags stapled to their backs. If you're going to go for it, stick with your decision or forever be an indecisive coward. If you're secure enough to know what you want, use your newfound power and start flirting. And remember, happiness is just a flirtationship away.