The straight female dating experience at Hopkins is succinctly expressed by junior Teresa Bruno: "The odds are good, but the goods are odd." Johns Hopkins seems a great place to be a girl. The 56 / 44 ratio is in our favor, our dorms are filled with boys who fulfill any manner of stereotypically sexy roles: future "doctors" or wealthy businessmen and, of course, preppy lacrosse players.
However, few girls find Hopkins to be a fantastic social whirlwind of exciting dates with exciting men. Some girls profess that there isn't much of a dating scene on campus or that those individuals who aren't in long-term relationships don't want to make the effort to meet new people. Other girls attest to the carefree nature of romantic adventures. Junior Mimi Jones said the dating scene was "good," though not serious. "There are a lot of flings, I don't know if you would call them hook-ups," she said.
"I think we just like flirting and having fun," said freshman Rachel Kolander. "No one wants to settle down, especially because we're freshmen."
Girls do note however, that dating habits change as they mature. Freshman girls have a different perspective from their senior counterparts.
"As juniors, you get more serious," said junior Cheryl Kim. "I know quite a number of boys who are looking for serious relationships, actually."
But not all girls want to settle down with just one man in their old age. "Serious? Not my friends," said junior Irene Kim. "It's more about having fun."
For many girls, freshman year marks the end of high school romances or the beginning of new long-term relationships.
"A lot of people came to school with old boyfriends or girlfriends that they had to dump," Kim most charitably explained.
The girls (and guys) wandering around the AMRs with their cell phones clutched to their ears might be evidence of this.
Just as many platonic friendships were formed on the very first day of Orientation, so were plenty of long-term relationships. Freshman Hillary Portner met her current boyfriend, freshman Jon Herman, before school even started on the Pre-Orientation rock climbing trip.
"Pre-O is a great place to meet friends," said Portner. "Jon was the first person I met at Pre-O. We were friends for about a month before we started dating."
Senior Joelen Pastva met her girlfriend of two years, Alex Fridman, as a freshman.
"We hung out for the first time at a Bratmobile show at the Ottobar during the first week of school freshman year. After that, we mostly saw each other by hanging out with the same friends and at DSAGA meetings. Also, both of us lived in AMRII, which kind of helped."
Some girls complain that the pool of potential dates, whether male or female, is either shallow or filled with strange, cold fish.
"I don't think we have a good cross-section of the male population of the world," said junior Meg Leddy, who still manages to find some decent men in the campus milieu. "Everybody's interesting, but everybody is studious." Leddy also expressed that "library dates" are not her idea of a good time.
Some Hopkins men often joke that the girls on campus are so unattractive that they must be graded on "the Hopkins Curve," in which a girl is "rated" on a 10-point scale. The difference between her score and 10 is divided by two and added to her raw score. Second-floor Hollander freshmen claim that this is the only way to make the female population palatable.
Every girl interviewed took serious offense at the assumption that the men on this campus are hotter than the women. "The girls here are so much more attractive than the boys at this school. And I've had a boyfriend here for two and a half years!" claimed junior Teresa Bruno. "They have low self-esteem."
"The girls here are damn fine!" protested Rachel Kolander. "They're really cute! Girls should use [the Hopkins Curve] on boys!"
Girls expressed preferences among the majors. "I think Econ majors are pretty hot," said sophomore Ayala Miller. "They're going to be business men and that's pretty sexy."
Sophomore Meg Solinger agreed. "Econ majors are hot because they're lacrosse players," she said.
"The Engineers are cute," said Rachel Kolander. "Physics majors kind of turn me off. The art history boys aren't too cute, either."
Freshman Lauren Parris isn't interested in dating any men within the Hopkins community, no matter what their major.
"This school's too small to date," she said. "One of my friends dated three guys this year. One night we shared a cab with two of them and then we got into the elevator with all three. I was like, this is awkward, in case you haven't noticed."
The alternative to dating on campus is to venture out into the clubs and bars of Baltimore to meet "townies" or kids from other area colleges.
"There is a lesbian community in Baltimore, so if you're a queer girl on campus, I'd recommend you look outside good old JHU," advised Fridman. "While there are girls in DSAGA, B-more dyke bars like Gallaghers, other campus' GSAs like Towson or Goucher, Charm City Kitty Club's variety shows or perhaps a girl-band concert are all fine places to meet other girls. And even if you don't go home with someone, you can always have a good time."
Freshman Anna Vaivoda, on the other hand, doesn't agree. "Townies are intimidated by us," she said.
Alas! Such is the particular burden of the Hopkins woman.
