No, I'm not pregnant ... I'm sick

The first three months of life as a freshman can be compared to riding Cedar Point's Millenium Force or Six Flags' Freefall repeatedly after a Chili's all-you-can-eat buffet. Truthfully, between drinking, classes, drinking, eating at Terrace and trying to make it to class, even the most hardcore student will have at least one breakdown in her immune system. That's why it's so important for everyone get to know the friendly staff at the Student Health and Wellness Center (SHWC). They have information on whatever rash, cough, uncomfortable feeling or strange ailment you've, eh hem, somehow acquired, their help is confidential and they generously give out free condoms to all who walk in the door.

Oh, but that's only the beginning. The newest additions to the SHWC service roster include a Relaxation CD Library, online refills of birth control and the Student Health Advisory Committee. Students who find they are stressed about classes, their newest frat-fling, etc. can borrow CDs such as Natural Tranquilizers, a collection of relaxation mantras touted as "an alternative stress break to alcohol, medications or cigarettes." Some of the other titles include Calm Down and Warm and Heavy. I'll leave it to you to check these out.

Students can also refill birth control pills, OrthoEvra patches and NuvaRings online. You must be a student who already receives these prescriptions from the SHWC, and you must be up to date on your gynecological exams. Not on birth control? Want a more convenient alternative to having mom send your pills in the mail? Make an appointment with SHWC and get started as one of their patients. It doesn't take that long, and trust me, it's totally confidential.

Alright, enough of women's health and onto the rest of the SHWC. Students who have a serious interest in Public Health and are interested in getting involved in student health initiatives here at Hopkins should apply to the Student Health Advisory Committee. As members of the committee, students will help make health policy decisions, assist in planning health-related events, serve as a voice for fellow students and work with Hopkins Health Care Professionals. Plus, it's great experience for all you wanna-be doctors. For more information, check out http://www.jhu.edu/shcenter/shac.html.

Also at the SHWC Web site are helpful student pages that can be viewed in the privacy of your own dorm room. They have informative links such as an Online Self-Care Guide for Students, Stress Management and a dossier on the West Nile Virus and meningitis. The Self-Care Guide gives students a glossary of common ailments, symptoms and whom to contact when you think you need help. It also give some basic, and somewhat parental, lifestyle guides, which I imagine are probably common sense habits most students choose to disregard at this time in their lives.

Here's the basic information every student should know: the SHWC is located just outside Terrace Dining Hall, behind a big white door in the AMRII building. Appointments can be made rather quickly (from my experience) by calling 6-8270. If your situation is very urgent, they have a doctor on call 24/7. You can also call security at 6-4777 and they will contact the on-call physician. Some appointments can be scheduled on Saturday, but the staff is limited, so you may have to wait for the following week. Their hours are 8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. most days, and they are closed on Sunday.

For enrolled students, there is no charge for office visits, but prescriptions and lab tests will cost you more, depending on your private health insurance rates. Students may also use money on their JCards to pay for prescriptions at the SHWC.