Fantasies. We've all had them: most of us have been dealing with them since middle school. You're sitting in class, trying to concentrate on a questionably accurate map of Europe on the chalkboard and find yourself daydreaming about the Taylor Hanson look-alike two rows to the left.
Or you're attempting to read a chapter on phospholipid bi-layers but a scene from a Clint Eastwood western keeps replaying in your head, and the roughness of the ruffles on your imaginary dress are much better than protein placement.
Whatever the circumstance, these daydreams are potentially very debilitating but can also be quite constructive. The serious side first:
Everyone has a fantasy they're embarrassed about. Sometimes they're inappropriate in that "gross, what was I (subconsciously) thinking?" way, but some are inappropriate in that "this is completely and utterly socially unacceptable" way. These are the fantasies I encourage you to take action about: You are (probably) psychologically healthy and fine - but holding in this kind of veiled drive as well as the resulting suspicion and self-doubt is not healthy.
Obviously I'm not a doctor or a nurse or even a science major, but I am authorized to tell you our counseling center (conveniently located on the third floor of Garland hall) would love to talk to you about it. Psychologist Matthew Torres explained that while none of Hopkins counselors specialize in dream interpretation, the analysis and resulting advising about dreams and fantasies are included in typical clinical training.
If you have any troubling fantasies or dreams, please do call the counseling center and set up an appointment - it's all very discreet and professional: (410) 516-8278. There's no shame in confessing to odd sexual ideas - when I say we've all had them and probably repressed it, I mean it.
Now moving on to how to use such fantasies to your sexual advantage. This is one of the precious few occasions where I recommend being in a relationship or at least a comfortably consistent hook-up situation. A stable social interaction where both parties are relaxed enough to share sexual fantasies that are more complicated and intimate than just "Oh, I've always wanted to try girl-on-top" (Note: that's not a sexual fantasy, that's boring) is relatively essential for the episode to proceed well. That recommendation made, it's a fairly straightforward process: First you need to tell your partner the fantasy.
There are several options of when and where to do this. Discussing it over a casual dinner is a nice option; so is sometime during the lighter stages of foreplay. It's probably not as appropriate when you're pulling into their parents' driveway for Thanksgiving or in the waiting room at the gynecologist. If you're feeling a bit coyer, you could hint at parts of it in texts during classes.
However eventual full disclosure is important - depending on the severity of the fantasy, surprises could be to your disadvantage (guys say they're up for anything, anytime. They're not).
After you've told your partner all the wonderfully creative things you'd like to try, ask if they want to. Please. Even if the main tenet of the fantasy is your being in complete control, it hasn't started yet, so you need to ask. Once everyone is informed and consenting, I stop writing, because you should know where to go from there. Go get the unicorn costume, the Einstein wig, the specially reinforced school desk, the Mordor backdrop or the keys to that one lab no one ever uses and take your sexual imagination to task.
Never be afraid to share and inquire. The worst they can do is say no. If you want to screen how weird is too weird to try, fine. But keep in mind that if the friendship is stable enough, the worst that'll happen is he'll turn it down that time, but then think of you as perhaps the most "liberated" girl he knows. That's always entertaining. And one last thing: Porn isn't a fantasy. You're welcome to act out your favorites, but you won't gain any of my respect for it - it's all about those quirky subconscious inventions you're hiding. These are the stories I want to hear over my 1/2 price burgers on Thursdays, so take a look.
Brief Reference Section: All of these scenarios are taken from actual conversations with real people, as sad as that is. Most of them are paraphrased for appropriateness.
The Good:
The good would entail running in the pouring rain and holding hands, when the light changes just as you reach the road. So you duck under a bus stop and start making out wildly - then run through the rain to your room and take it from there. While this one is pretty circumstantial, the moral is to never pass up a good rainy day. (Amanda, Class of 2010).
The Bad:
The bad would include convincing someone to call his or her twin who goes to school six hours away on a false premise and trying to orchestrate a threesome. If this hasn't come up in a conversation about said twin, it's probably not an option. (John, Class of 2011).
Another bad one would be an ice cream and chocolate syrup adventure with a lactose intolerant partner. (Craig, Class of 2010).
"Tarzan and Jane, with a real tree and real red ants," would be a scenario to avoid. (Scott, Class of 2010).
The Ugly:
For the ugly, "kissing someone after a facial - not good for either party, really." (Sarah, Class of 2011).
The female dons a cardboard box decorated with dials and a cut-out "door"; the man wears a chicken suit and plays out a traditional kitchen romance. (John, Class of 2011).
