Hopkins is like unsafe sex: You're happy when you get in, but you're sorry you came. Says a lot about Hopkins, but it says just as much about unsafe sex. After the bondage questions, another one I've fielded a lot is, "What kind of condom do you use?" Unfortunately, I haven't had the time to give a good test run to all the brands out there, but I can give some good pointers, so everyone can finally move off those horrible Lifestyle ones.
We all know you need to use condoms if you're having sex -- hopefully this isn't even a question. Once you've decided to, however, it can get pretty complex. I've seen those kids in the drug store, the ones who buy 10 packs of gum, tissues, eye-drops and shampoo to hide the fact that they're buying a measly pack of condoms. My other favorites are the kids who just stand in front of the display, not even knowing where to begin. I feel for these lost souls -- choosing between plain and reservoir tips can be daunting, let alone deciding if you're in the mood for regular or ribbed -- and some minds can barely fathom lubed or not. If you see one of these wide-eyed kids (or are one) in the store, hopefully after this article you'll be in a little better position to help them out.
Whether you don't like the term "mommy' or "daddy' thrown in your direction, or you don't want to break the news that you gave your partner an Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STI ) or be told you just got one, you need to use a condom. If your partner doesn't want to use a condom, kick him or her out. You can complain about the Hopkins dating scene all you want, but it's not so dry that you need to let someone like that into your bed.
But condoms don't need to have such a negative stigma. In fact, with the right attitude and the right choices, condoms can be fun and can provide another reason to play games in bed. For example, a friend of mine assigns each "activity" a color, picks a condom randomly and they do whatever the color is -- while using the condom.
When choosing among condoms, you need to know what material you're going for. The three main types are latex, polyurethane, and animal skin.
First, let's get the animal skin issue out of the way. I don't know why anyone would want to use another animal's skin for sex. If you have a good reason, please tell me. This is past the fact the animal skin condoms do not protect against STIs. Before we had polyurethane condoms, it was almost excusable, but now there's just no reason.Then there's latex. It's cheap, it's durable, it protects well against pregnancy, and it protects well against STIs (when used consistently and correctly). What more could you want? The one drawback to latex is that you can't use oil-based lubes, but I'd lay off the Vaseline or massage oil anyway. As far as allergies are concerned, only about 5 to 7 percent of the population actually have a latex allergy. Generally this is just a poor excuse not to use a condoms. If it's legit, though, there are other options.
The alternative to latex is polyurethane. It's a bit more expensive than latex condoms (closer to a dollar per condom, generally) but a lot less than herpes treatments or a kid. There are polyurethane male and female condoms -- use the male ones, the female ones are a bad idea for most people. These babies also work with oil-based lube, so if you're trying to combine chocolate sauce and whipped cream and sex these would be your weapon of choice. One thing to watch out for: These condoms are thinner, they break a bit easier -- so if you're into athletic sex (and if you don't know what this is, don't worry about it) I'd stick to the latex -- and a fair amount of lube.
After materials, the next question is: What the hell are the actual differences? Some basic words to look for are: reservoir tip (when there's a "bump" at the head of the condom to collect semen), plain tip (no area to collect), "regular" shape (straight sides), form fit (indented at the top to fit just below the head) and "flared" (a middle ground between regular and form fit). Beyond these basic terms, you have to choose taste, texture and shape--yes, they make some sketchy ones--and who knows what else. I'm sure you'll have time to get to these so right now stick to the basic.
If you're in the U.S., make sure the condom's FDA approved -- those guys are looking out for your sex life. If you're a [insert popular condom brand here] guy/girl no worries -- this is mainly a warning for the novelty ones. If you're lucky enough to get some abroad, look for the British Standard Kite Mark or the EEC Standard Mark (CE). If you're in non-English speaking countries, looking for the ISO approval is your best bet. Also, if you are abroad, check condom size difference. American ones are generally larger than foreign brands. So if you're making an international bootie call, don't be surprised if you need to change up your normal routine.
Now on to the good stuff: the actual condom reviews. Lifestyles can be addressed as their own general category. Unless you're really too lazy to buy them yourself, don't use them. It's no wonder why they're free everywhere on this campus. Most of their condoms are thicker and generally oddly cut. Do yourself a favor Make a good investment in another brand and move away from the Health and Wellness Center.
The overall best condoms are a brand called Crown, which are made in Japan. They're not the most widely known brand, but I've definitely haven't found anyone, who doesn't like them. I think Crown's most popular line, "Skinless Skin," says it all. This brand doesn't do anything fancy to these latex condoms, but they are some of the thinnest condoms around (great heat transference, and not any less sturdy though). I'll let you make your own decision about the color.
If you're also looking to further support the Japanese economy, there's the Kimono brand -- actually the thinnest latex ones out there. Again, these aren't for something imaginative, but if you're looking to forget you're using a condom, you have to try this one. I've heard stories of these breaking, but as long as you use enough lube you should be in the clear. Since these are made abroad, watch out -- they're a little tighter than your average Trojan.
If you want to stick closer to State side, another good brand is Durex, specifically the Avanti line. They're a polyurethane condom (for all of you with "allergies"), so they're really thin. They're are a little more expensive, and polyurethane is definitely a feel to get used to -- they're different for regular condom users, and girls generally feel that difference more than guys. I've also talked to people say they can't tell the difference in thickness, others think these were sent by the heavens.Overall, Durex gets good marks, so if you're looking for a brand to call your own, try out the line. They make a good larger condom, Durex Maximum, which fit well for the guy who needs a bit more room -- if you're one of the lucky few who needs it. Be warned, these won't help your vanity if you're borderline -- they're a good 8 inches long, and 2.5 inches wide, too big to be comfortable for most guys. Durex also makes the Durex Performax, which will help the quick triggers. For those who are creeped out by this idea, the only difference is in type of lube inside the condom. Ideally running through baseball stats should work, but if it doesn't, this condom will add an extra few minutes to any night.
If you're given a choice, Trojans are also a great stand-by. The ones to reach for are Trojan Her Pleasure -- I might be a bit biased, but oh well. The shape actually works for both partners: It's thin, it's a good shape for him and its ridges work wonders with the shape to benefit girls. The ribs can be a turnoff for some girls but give them a test run -- if you like them, apologize to your neighbors, and if you don't, at least you know and move on to the next "test."
Other Trojans to try are the Trojan Supra, which is a polyurethane condom -- it's incredibly thin like the other polyurethane condoms and incredibly clear. I would actually steer clear of Trojan Shared Sensations --they're a bit too much texture for a lot of girls. Also, the Twisted Pleasure condoms aren't bad, but if that's what you're looking for, there's a better one on the market.
The Inspiral condom looks really odd, but then again, that's not really where your attention should be. You would think the pouches and bagginess (this depends on if you see the glass half-empty or as a sex-toy) would detract from the fun, but it really just adds to it.
This condom's been around for a while, and it still has a strong following. With all the condoms in the market, this says something. If you're a fan of this condom, you could also try the Pleasure Plus -- almost the same idea but a different brand. Both add room to increase friction, but Pleasure Plus improved on it and installed internal ribs to pleasure guys. It's been getting great reviews from both sides of the condom.
Finally we come to the newest invention in condoms: custom measuring. Called "They-Fit" condoms, you download and print out special measuring tapes and a "kit," e-mail your measurements, then you get custom made condoms.
They have a range of 55 sizes and combinations, so if you've tried a lot of condoms and you're still not satisfied, then it'd be worth the $1 per condom to go online and order them.
But where do you get all of these condoms? Your average supermarket stocks the basics, but what if you want something more? Since I'm a New Yorker, I'm a big fan of Condomania (http://www.condomania.com).
This is also the site where you find the "They-Fit" condoms. This site looks nice, generally gives out free samples with orders, has fun toys and gifts and a really good selection of condoms and lubes. Also, if you've having trouble deciding, they have an interactive guide to help you pick condoms.
Condoms USA (http://www.condomusa.com), Condom Express (http://www.condomsexpress.com), Lubery (http://www.lubery.com) and Condom Corner (http://www.condomcorner.com) are good sites for people on a budget, so check them out. Each has a good range of condoms, a lot of free samples with and without ordering, and there are always good sales. Also check out http://www.freecondoms.com. Once you sign-in for free, you earn points by using online vendors (some of whom you'll already use probably), so you can order free condoms. It can be an annoying process, but if you already use the vendors, why not get something extra from it?
Also look at Mr. Condom (http://www.mrcondom.com) for a rotating selection of free samples and http://www.newcouponnetwork.com/condom4/index.asp for a free dozen condom sampler. Again, if you're looking into condoms but don't want to buy a box if you're not sure, these are good ways to test new waters.
With all this info, there's really no excuse not to use condoms or not to enjoy them.
