College is a transformative time in many people’s lives, and a major aspect of this experience is the people you meet and befriend. However, making friends can seem intimidating when you first step on campus. While there is no single “right” way to go about making friends, here are some things to keep in mind to help you as you begin this chapter of your life.
Put yourself out there
For many people, when they arrive in the fall, Hopkins will be a completely new environment with countless strangers. It is normal to be reserved when it comes to sharing details about yourself with people that you don’t know, especially if you are someone like me who is not very outgoing. Nonetheless, moving beyond the formalities of name, major and hometown to expressing something a little more personal such as a hobby or other interest is an essential part of forming friendships.
This doesn’t mean you have to be very open right away, but learning to become more comfortable with talking about yourself, even if it is just a fact or two at first, can go a long way in fostering connections with others. Remember that many of your peers are also adjusting to a drastic change in their lives and may be struggling with similar concerns, so don’t worry too much about being judged.
It is also important to spend time in places where you can socialize, even if it may feel awkward at first. Instead of always eating or studying in your room, consider spending time in the dining halls or study spaces around campus. College also offers a great opportunity to explore new things, so consider joining clubs or taking classes that interest you. You may also find it easier to speak up and introduce yourself to someone in these settings, where there is likely a shared interest that can be a starting point for a deeper conversation.
Another important thing to understand is that no matter how many people you meet or talk to, not everyone is going to become your friend, and that’s completely normal. Maybe the two of you don’t have much in common, the vibe feels off or things just don’t materialize. Don’t take things personally or let them discourage you from continuing to reach out to other people.
Random factors can influence the formation of friendships
Although friendships may be more likely to form under certain circumstances, chance can also be a significant factor. For example, I met two of my best friends because the three of us were the only people assigned to our table in Physics I, while other tables had eight. I then found out that one of them was also majoring in Biomedical Engineering, and luckily, we had the same lecture after physics, as well as a suitable time in our respective schedules to eat lunch after that. This offered a great opportunity to learn more about each other, and we discovered that we had many hobbies and academic interests in common.
While there were factors under our control, who knows what might have happened if we weren’t assigned to the same table? Now, your experiences will likely be different from mine, but the key is not to stress over making friends a certain way. Keep an open mind and you may find that a friendship sprouts from an unexpected source, even if you don’t realize it at the time.
Friendships can take time to form and develop
Lastly, building friendships is a gradual process, and getting to know people takes time. It is understandable to want to rush into a friendship — that is something I have also been guilty of at times. However, while the people you surround yourself with are a major part of your experience here, there are other aspects as well. As the semester progresses, people will get busier, and classes will become more demanding. Although maintaining and developing friendships requires consistent effort from everyone involved, it’s okay if things feel a bit stagnant from time to time. If you do have any concerns, make sure you communicate them.
It is also understandable to feel that you have to make friends quickly at the start of the semester or else you will be left all alone. While it is true that making friends can be easier at the beginning of the semester, it is not the only time to do so. As your experiences and the people that you interact with here shape you, new opportunities to make friends will arise. Furthermore, the timing of when you meet someone does not fully dictate how close a friend they may become. Hopkins will be the place you call home for the next four years, so it’s okay if friendships don’t materialize instantly. You will have countless opportunities to find your people.
Eric Zeng is a junior majoring in Biomedical Engineering from Tallahassee, Fla.
