Published by the Students of Johns Hopkins since 1896
February 24, 2024

Shout out to all the admission tours blocking my way:

Unfortunately my professors don’t take “couldn’t elbow my way through a crowd of prospectives” as a legitimate excuse. The UTL halls are so narrow. Why do you need to stand in the middle of them?

— Bruised elbows

Shout out to the guy who sits directly next to me in lecture:

We are in a room full of empty chairs, I don’t know why this keeps happening. And also, who needs to click their pen that much?

— Crazed and Confused

Shout out to the bird that flew into the Brody window:

May your soul fly through clear and blue skies though your body rests as a grim reminder to all late night studiers that life is short. Perhaps you shall remind an aggrieved Hopkins student that there is more to life than calculus and chemistry, or perhaps you’re just going to seriously bum out a small Asian man right when he seriously needed to focus on his econ homework.

— Depreciating emotionally


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