Published by the Students of Johns Hopkins since 1896
December 5, 2022

Tourists vacation at the Beach, Hopkins Inn

By BEN THAIRE | April 1, 2016

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PHOTOGRAPHY EDITOR EXTRAORDINAIRE Groups of confused and disappointed tourists have been spotted in neon bathing suits around campus searching for the beach.

Wednesday afternoon, a group of unfamiliar college students was found sitting on The Beach. They were wearing air sprayed T-shirts saying “SB2K16.” But they looked very confused.

Hopkins students approached them, trying to see how they could help them out. One of the girls in the group responded.

“Well, when I went online, I thought Charles Village might be a cool vacationing spot,” she said. “We were particularly intrigued by this ‘Hopkins Inn.’ When we go springbreaking, we are always trying to find neat, affordable places. But when I got up to the door, I was unable to get in. Apparently you have to like ‘swipe in’ or something. Maybe they forgot to send us our swipe cards before we came?”

The students decided to come to the area because they heard about a great beach on TripAdvisor.com. They felt like the site might have lied, though, or at least the people posting reviews on the site were lying.

“We’re near a harbor, right?” one of the men in the group said. “What the hell kind of beach is this?”

When they were walking down St. Paul Street, they heard two groups of students, each holding brown paper bags yell at each other, “Beach??” They decided to follow this group of students, figuring it could be a good idea.

This is what led them to where they ended up: confused on The Beach.

“I thought there would be sand or something. I thought we were in the Chesapeake Bay area, so where is it? This beach isn’t a real beach,” the female student said.

After getting pizzas at Pizza Studio, the students decided they would get back in their cars and head elsewhere.

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