Why no one ever takes the B'more Metro

If you’ve lived in Baltimore for a while, you may have noticed that the transportation system is a bit complicated.

Most of the time, you find yourself traveling by a network of buses. This includes popular free options like the Charm City Circulator, the JHMI and the Collegetown Shuttle.

The Charm City Circulator has usually worked for me, but there have been recent reports of cell phone robberies on board.

The JHMI is reasonably effective, arriving every ten minutes or so during peak commuting hours.

The Collegetown Shuttle is less reliable. One time a friend and I planned to get on in front of Barnes and Noble and ride all the way to the Target in Towson.

This did not work out as planned. Not only was the  shuttle over an hour late, but NextBus.com could offer no relevant information about its impending arrival.

When the bus eventually appeared, we assumed the trip would go smoothly from there.

However, our driver took us to Morgan State University, parked, and then got out. We waited about fifteen minutes until another driver got on board. He took his seat and then promptly turned the bus around, back toward Hopkins.

All of the passengers assured the driver that we were bound for Towson. He responded that he understood why we would think that, but no matter what we said he was intent on taking us back where we came from.

By the time we got back to campus it was nearly 8 p.m., so my friend and I gave up on the excursion.It was not the most productive way to spend two hours.

The MTA bus system is much better. Drivers usually show up within five minutes of their promised arrival time. The only problem with the MTA is the construction on North Charles Street.

Since the road has been viciously gutted, buses obviously cannot use it. Therefore, the schedule has rerouted, avoiding the mess in front of Hopkins.

Unfortunately, MTA has not updated this information online, so good luck finding the lines that used to run on North Charles Street.

Then there’s the Baltimore Metro. I didn’t know this even existed until fairly recently. That’s probably because it doesn’t stop anywhere near campus.

But one time a friend and I were at 1st Mariner Arena, right by a Metro Stop. We decided to try something new and take the Metro at least part of the way home.

We descended into the station and were quickly confused. We asked one of the guards for help, and he assured us that we were going in the right direction. This turned out not to be the case.

Then an older married couple got involved and tried to redirect us. They couldn’t believe our incompetence and kept asking where we were from. Finally, the woman suggested that we shouldn’t even be using the Metro.

So we eventually gave up and took a cab home.

Perhaps because of these widespread inconveniences, there will be a Reinvent Transit conference this weekend in Betamore in Federal Hill.

Check it out if you’d like to make getting around Baltimore a little bit easier.