It's high time we all admitted to ourselves that hooking up is a good thing. The social stigma of being "easy" or a "player" merely because you prefer to remain solo most of the time, and choose only certain nights to lie in the arms of another
, needs to be beaten down with a stick. No, that girl is not a slut for going home with a frat boy, and no, that guy is not an a-hole just because he told you this was a one-time thing. Plenty of perfectly decent human beings prefer hooking up to going steady.
There's really only one part of hooking up that people absolutely abhor, and which is responsible for the bad rep: the next day.
Most of us have been there: the groggy wake-up, the uncertainty of your surroundings, the pounding headache that appears as soon as you start to lift your head, the confusion when you see a seemingly detached arm wrapped around you and then the horror of realizing you just hooked up with someone.
This is precisely the moment where things get awkward and where it's so easy to ruin the perfectly pleasurable evening you spent together.
There's the eye-avoiding "Good morning," the nervous shuffle to find lost clothes, the mad dash for the door and then, the dreaded Walk of Shame.
Not to mention the accidental eye contact in Calc III the next Monday and the requisite harping to your friends of how embarrassed you are that he won't even acknowledge your existence. Poof, you've just lost a perfectly good friend.
Why is it so hard to remain friends after a hookup? Most of us are past the age where the sight of a penis or vagina is disturbing. Sure, it's tough if you're actually looking for more than a one-night stand, and the guy doesn't seem to reciprocate the feelings.
And true, maybe you wouldn't have slept with that girl if you hadn't played all those games of pong beforehand, but the fact is, you did.
And having done so, she deserves to be treated with some degree of respect, not with sniggers from your friends as she walks by or a look that obviously reads "you need to leave."
First of all, when you both wake up, stop being awkward! Again, whether you wanted to or not, you both got laid last night! It's exercise and stress relief. Assuming you were smart enough to use protection, there's no reason to be anything but friendly with each other.
You'll go your own way in the morning, but instead of rushing by your partner next time you're on your way up to the library, try saying "Hi," or striking up a conversation instead.
They aren't void of interesting information just because you now know they have a huge mole under their left nipple. Too often, awkward hookups make us miss out on making new friends.
To reference the column written last week, talking big to your friends about your latest conquest will make you look like a jerk. This goes for girls as well; whining to your friends about how you "never do stuff like that, how embarrassing!" is just turning a great night of fun into a train wreck.
Guys often blame the girl for making the hookup process so complicated and overrated, but you're just as much to blame, boys!
You're certainly not improving things when you bolt for the next room when you run into your hookup partner at the next Beta party.
College is a time of growing up, and becoming comfortable with your sexual identity. This includes dealing with unexpected hookups. We have enough stress in our lives just attending this school, so let's not add more with something as easily enjoyable as a hookup.?
