Hopkins Kicks Butts has been doing a lot of kicking lately. Kicking and screaming that is. They have been clamoring to the administration trying to get ashtrays moved farther away from buildings. They have been complaining that students smoking in front of classrooms is detrimental to their health. And they have succeeded in getting the University's ear on this obviously all-important issue - students smoking 40 feet away from buildings will definitely be less of a health risk than students smoking five feet away. But their aims do not stop there. No, the members of HKB are currently seeking an all-out ban on smoking on Homewood campus. First the campus, then the world!
If you think this sounds like communism you're not alone. Though HKB claims they got 800 signatures without breaking a sweat, anyone who has signed a petition for student government elections will remember how little we students take notice of what we are signing - especially if there is a free sticker involved. Most students I've talked to about this proposal have been staunchly against it, smokers and non-smokers alike.
Do I think HKB is a terrorist organization? No. On the contrary, I support the majority of their actions. In fact, I believe much of what the do is laudable. Their focus on helping people quit and doing community outreach programs that try to keep kids from smoking is commendable. And I agree that students shouldn't smoke directly outside of campus buildings and they should be compassionate towards their non-smoking peers. But this is going too far. Students shouldn't be allowed to smoke indoors. But outside? Come on. Why not just send all the smokers to Gulags?
The ashtrays have become the de facto battle line for this issue. HKB has sought University help in moving these bins away from buildings. Smokers brave the elements to retrieve them and return them to their rightful, dry place. The war wages on. And to the people in the trenches, I salute you. You fight a noble battle, and one day you will be able to tell your grandchildren of your heroic deeds.
Look, I'm not trying to make light of the dangers of smoking. Everyone is aware of the potential health risks of smoking and of second-hand smoke. I got it. But should we really be making rules that force people with a particular vice into a five by five square where they are allowed to avail themselves of their God-given right to choose? And if we should, maybe we should round up the drinkers next. Followed by the people who pee on the toilet seat. Then maybe all Yankees fans.
I am a non-smoker. I hate the smell and I lose my breath when I walk by the clouds of smoke that surround these battle-worn ash trays. I hate the taste and residue it leaves on your breath. I will not date a smoker and, Captain Morgan willing, I will not make-out with a smoker again either. I have bought one pack of cigarettes in my life (it was for a friend who was craving and I owed him. I felt like a dirty enabler). I hope to never buy another.
However, if you continue to pursue this authoritarian agenda, you will leave me no choice. If this ban goes through I will take up smoking. I will sit on The Beach and smoke. I will stand outside of the lecture halls and smoke. I will stand outside Levering and smoke. And I will not pay a single fine. I don't want to do this, but I will not sit idly by and allow you to harass these students. HKB, my life is in your hands. Do what you think is right.
