I've been thinking a lot about parties lately. I remember the days when a party meant having a bunch of friends over, playing some games and eating cupcakes. It is strange to me that fraternities do not provide cupcakes. It would definitely ingratiate the brethren to the female sex. The end of a typical night would change from "I would stay, Jasper, but I have this really big quiz on Monday . . ." to "Oh, Jasper, these cupcakes are delicious. Also, I find your eyebrows alluring. Want to make out?" Suddenly it would go from just being a regular party to a super awesome slumber party.
Instead, frats are where flip-flops go to die. They're hot. They're sticky. I remember during orientation of my freshman year standing on the curb thinking "I can't do four years of this, there has to be a better option." Then I walked inside of one of the frats and watched everyone around me be ragingly stupid and thought about how lonely I felt. Why was everyone else having fun but not me? Was there something wrong with me?
The answer was simple. I simply had not drunk as much as everybody else. But that just wasn't going to happen. I didn't know anyone and it didn't seem like a good idea to get completely obliterated in a room full of complete strangers. What if they took my shoes and slung them over a telephone line? What then?
I soon learned that there were other kinds of parties at college. House parties. These were more selective and chill and sanitary than the fraternity gatherings of my earlier days. I soon found myself much more comfortable and willing to go a little crazy. Suddenly, it wasn't so bad to be a little drunky-drunk. And there were cupcakes at these parties; delicious, delicious cupcakes.
For the most part, these parties take place with people whom I adore hanging out with, whether they are sober or less than sober. Yet there are several anomalies. I have several friends I avoid at all costs when they are drunk because, frankly, they annoy the pants off of me. I know other people who are great friends but we just never go out together because they have their own separate party culture. There can even be anomalies within your own party group. The worst is when you get a friend who, on occasion, is a mean drunk; you're sitting there wondering the whole time if they are always this mean and just hold it in, or if alcohol really has changed them into a completely different person.
I've thought about this a lot, actually, especially relating to the hook-up culture. I have friends who are too intimidated to dance in a group without a drink or two, much less walk up to some guy they like and have a regular conversation with him. Alcohol can be a good way to calm your nerves and to take off the edge, this I understand. But there is a flip side to this story as well. Some people just get drunk and hook up with whomever, because they no longer care. Everyone has had to question at one point or another "Was that just a drunk thing or did it actually mean something?" Not a great feeling.
I don't think anyone would call this kind of scenario something that they long for. Yet, these are the people idolized as the ones who "party the hardest" - this always said with a note of pride. I love conversations with people who can talk about nothing but their drunken debaucheries. And by love, I mean they are the most boring people ever, second only to the people who have conversations which consist entirely of Family Guy quotes. It's cool that people have something they can bond over. But, somehow it's just never that impressive to me. If your brain is so buzzed you can no longer register adrenaline, where is the thrill in doing crazy things? Yeah, it's cool to have sex drunkenly on a roof with someone, but isn't it almost more impressive if you're sober?
And what if none of this is for you? What if your ideal party is a slumber party in which your friends come over and watch a movie, drink nothing but cherry coke and fall asleep with popcorn kernels sticking to your face? Why don't those people get street cred? Why is it just the ones who get wasted out of their minds who are considered cool, when really they are the biggest idiots? Why do we even care about how people party in the first place?
It's an interesting question to puzzle over, and we may never know the answer. I think that it is good to have an open mind towards debauchery, but at the same time, you should be able to have fun without being drunk. I guess the bottom line is that life is pretty short, and you should have the type of parties you want. I, for example, would love to have a murder mystery party or a jousting party. What say you to that?
