Sad but true fact of life Number One: Not everyone gets along with everyone else. Sad but true fact Number Two? Not many people know how to appropriately deal with those people who frustrate, annoy or irk them.
Now that most of us have at least one foot in the door that leads us towards the real world of jobs, apartments and time commitments, dealing with people who frustrate the heck out of us becomes a very important skill to master.
As young adults in college, some of the people who are difficult to get along with include parents, professors, roommates and landlords.
Learning how to handle these people with respect - especially in situations where you really just want to shake them for being so irritating - takes a fair amount of time, but it always pays off by earning you respect in return.
Parents are probably the source of the most frustration for college students. Whether they're calling you every day to ask you about everything from your eating habits to your weekend plans or pressuring you about grades, parents seem to effortlessly cause headaches.
They are pros at making you feel inadequate and stupid, and that automatically creates an environment where you are primed for a fight.
The key to dealing with parents is to stay calm through their endless questioning. Only call them when you are in a good mood. Then, listen as they talk to you.
Even if you don't necessarily agree with everything they're saying, parents do have valuable advice to give and truly only want what is best for you. Agree with them during the conversation and tell them that you will think about what they're saying.
Whether or not you choose to follow their advice is totally your prerogative. If the conversation starts to get heated, tell your mom you need to call her back. Set a time limit on your break (an hour or so) and then call back and just ride out the lecture.
If you can handle your parents with patience and calmness, they will be more inclined to view you as an adult capable of analyzing certain situations and then making decisions for yourself.
Your professors are another group of people who require delicate handling. It's easy and sometimes therapeutic to bash them in your dorm room with your friends, but that disrespectful attitude cannot be allowed to translate into real life.
When asking professors questions or going to office hours, always look them in the eye and modulate your tone to one of polite inquiry. Always say please and thank them for all of the time they gave to help you.
Certain small things, like sending professors e-mails to let them know if you will miss class or asking if you can set up an appointment, go a long way towards fostering an open relationship between your professors and yourself.
Roommate problems cause some of the nastiest conflicts between individuals, and the feuds can last for a long and uncomfortable time.
Again, one of the simplest ways to avoid fighting with the person you live with is to be polite. Start off on a good note by talking about your sleeping and studying habits.
Always check before eating something that is in the refrigerator but isn't yours. Come up with a bathroom schedule. Keep your side of the room neat.
Above all, communicate with each other! If you absolutely hate something your roommate does, politely ask her why she does it and if she wouldn't mind doing it somewhere else.
Since it's always easier to be friends than enemies, try roommate bonding as well. Go to dinner together or strike up a conversation while doing your homework. It's much easier to try to stop conflicts before they start by opening up to your roommate and talking about what is troubling you early on.
Landlords are much like professors - they control something important and necessary in your life and they know it. However, disagreeing with your landlord is much harder than disagreeing with your professors - landlords are not involved in logical academia but in cutthroat capitalism.
Start off your relationship positively by being on time with your rent and keeping the apartment clean. Don't hold parties right after you move in - it can cause a very bad first impression.
Use common sense as well. If your landlord has to confront you about a problem, listen respectfully, apologize sincerely and then immediately rectify the problem and don't let it happen again.
Most, if not all, of human interaction is based on mutual respect between parties. Your relationships with anyone can be positive as long as you remain kind, polite and respectful to the person you are addressing. It is not a difficult skill to acquire, but like all skills, it does require practice.
So please, practice some positive relationships. The world could use more of them.
