My best of my friends in high school were annoyingly perfect. I learned that there are very few things worse than being the friend who always gets the wingman at a bar no matter what you do.
That fate goes right up there with most people's two big fears: public speaking and death. The thing that always impressed me -- and most guys in whatever room they happened to grace --was the way my five good friends could dance.
If they wanted to take a guy home, or even just into a dark corner, all any of them had to do was get him on the dance floor and he was hers, if he could keep up.
Dancing today, in a club, bar or frat basement, beyond being a good workout, is about sex.
If you can do one right, chances are you can do the other pretty well too.
So the question really is, how does one define "well"? I can tango well. Does that put me higher or lower than my friend who treats a pole like an extension of her body? Wait, don't answer that -- but you get my drift.
For the nay-sayers who say dancing isn't the way to go, they're not looking at the whole picture.
I really don't care if you can tear up a dance floor on your own -- what really matters is if we can dance well together.
A good solo dancer is about as useful as someone who can only get themselves off alone.Although it's sometimes interesting to watch, it won't do much for someone else.
Dancing, like sex, changes every time and with every mood ,and it's just as much about timing, confidence and control as it is about the bump and grind, horizontal and vertical.
Although most people initially dance facing each other, this position is actually harder to do with a new partner. Think of dancing face-to-face as the equivalent of missionary position: easy to do it OK, harder to make it great.
If you're just dancing with someone for the first time, dancing facing the same direction (i.e. guy behind girl) is actually a lot easier.
Facing the same direction when dancing (the girl is usually in front, but I guess it can be whichever floats your boat) lends the great advantage of not looking at the other person (there's a reason people like doggie style sex so much too -- eye contact can sometimes get a bit intense). Once in this position though, it's all about body contact: pulling someone in close and hard or moving slowly together waiting for a good song to move things along. Although the guy has the upper hand by standing behind the girl, in this position he is in a place to follow the girl he's dancing with and enjoy himself.
This is good for guys who aren't in the mood to lead or for guys who question their ability on the dance floor.
A girl's ability to take the lead here is much like her riding cowgirl in that she controls the speed and rhythm.
To make it really memorable, a guy should remember that he's not getting a free ride and should try to help her out. When girls take control it's all in the hips: moving slowly at first and making slower circles, then the gradual move onto deeper, faster rhythm.
Whatever beat you two negotiate, move together. Keeping full body contact here, him pushing slightly forward while she's pushing slightly back, will definitely up the sensation for both of you and make sure you stay moving together for the whole time.
Although most of dancing and sex starts with the hips, what makes a dance memorable is how people put other parts of their body to use.
If you're in this position, once together, what are you doing with your hands? Your mouth? No one should have to do all the work.
The least you can do is help them enjoy it while they are doing it.
When not facing each other, hands have free reign to trace and slide to more places than in any other match-up.
Feel free to take advantage without getting yourself kicked out.
The next step up is dancing face-to-face. What's needed when two people dance face-to-face is similar to the same thing that makes average sex in missionary into really good sex.
OK, of course it's about a good partner, but it's also about finding a good rhythm and then keeping things tight.
If you're not ready to get close and essentially wrapped around someone, take a break and get a drink.
Secondly you have to watch each other's beat. The hardest thing for most girls to do is follow but if you're both doing you own thing you're not going to match up.
Once the two of you are going at the same pace, it can't be a passive bump and grind. Take a good grip on an arm, back or even hair when someone does a good bump or grind - non-verbal signals are really just as important as any phrase that will come out of your mouth.
Good body language will keep everyone at attention and engaged.
Finally you can judge someone when they find themselves in a threesome - especially guys.
Every now and then you see a guy who finds two girl (space) friends who are ready to share one guy on the dance floor. If he can hold his own, more often than not there's enough to go around.
These are usually two types of guys, though: those who get two girls and look like they're halfway to heaven and those who look happy and then realize they are expected to perform.
Essentially when approached by two girls the key is not to be an amazing dancer with both of them (we all know things get a little more complicated with two), but rather to make each one feel like she's more important than the other.
In a threesome, keeping the same rhythmis less important than making everyone feel included. If one girl feels left out, she's either going to grab her friend and find another guy who can satisfy her or you're going to be left with only one girl - which in itself isn't such a bad thing, but we can all get a little greedy sometimes.
If you've gotten through all of this and are still up for going out this weekend, then you have the right idea.
For all of these positions - front, back and otherwise accompanied - all you really need is confidence.
Having the balls to get out and dance puts you ahead of everyone who just stands at the side of the floor thinking they're saving face by not joining in.
In reality, if girls are dancing in a group, they almost always look good, or at least there are too many body parts flying to care. And for guys, everyone can do "the sway" - you shift your bodyweight from one foot to the other.
Confidence, more than any other trait, has the best carry-over to sex.
If someone is a horrible dancer with no shame, that's one thing, but if they are just out on the dance floor looking like they're up for a good time, someone might just get the idea to offer them one.
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