Although hard to believe, it was just this week that I had the typical "what-are-you-thinking-you-want-me-to-buy-you-this-year-talk." Unfortunately, gift-giving, especially around the holidays, has been something in my family that has fallen somewhat by the wayside.
I mean, its not like my parents don't love me, and I do get my fair share of "happy-thanksgiving-break-gifts" or "congratulations-you-finished-your-finals-jewelry" or "only-because-I-missed-you-pedicures." But when it comes to the traditional holiday gift-giving scene, my parents sort of lost interest.
For starters, the holiday of Chanukah, which my family celebrates, unknown to millions of people worldwide, is not the Jewish equivalent to Christmas. It is a minor holiday that celebrates the shedding of the Greek yoke and the regaining of the right to practice Judaism freely and keep the Torah as God had commanded.
Jews have celebrated this holiday for thousands of years in commemoration of the eight-night rededication of the second temple by doing Jewish things such as studying Torah, singing songs of praise, reciting prayers and lighting the menorah, all acts of religion that were once prohibited.
Nowhere in this list does it mention the exchange of extravagant gifts, lavish expenditures on the most modern toys, clothes and gadgets available for purchase. Instead, the holiday is meant to encourage family, togetherness and giving thanks for the blessing of religious freedom.
Christmas, second to Easter in the order of holiness for Christian holidays, celebrates the birth of Jesus Christ. This holiday, full of religious values, also encourages giving thanks, family togetherness and peace on Earth.
Nowhere in its description does it mention the need for brawls in shopping centers to scour the store's last ipod Nano, size seven pair of chestnut Ugg boots or the limited edition silver Game-boy advance. It doesn't preach overextension of credit, taking out of second mortgages or the pulling of an all-nighter to put together a bike with directions that only came in French. Somehow, this is all that many people associate with the holiday.
The commercialization of religion has done something horrible to religious people around the world. The constant commercials advertising sales and coercion to purchase must-have gadgets and the ever-present playing of "Holly Jolly Christmas" carols in the market, malls and even dentist's office waiting room, fill people not only with the holiday spirit, but the desire to want, want, want and spend, spend, spend.
The initial intended focus is lost, hopes are held high, blood pressures rise as the shopping days fall away and disappointment of a loved one, an ever- imminent threat, looms like a dark cloud over the holiday horizon. Shouldn't togetherness be enough?
That is the approach taken of late, by my parents, who lack not only the desire to fight the crowds, but also, to buy into the false "spirit of giving" that disguises the greed for "getting."
When we were small, they would surprise my brother, sister and I with books, roller skates and Barbie dolls, but now that we are older and more mature, they instead put their money and time to better use.
For the holidays, they treat our family to a vacation, be it in December or July, where we can be together and enjoy each other's company. They give us the gift of memories -- something to look forward to and back upon -- not a toy that will end up dusty on a shelf or a sweater crumbled in the back of a drawer.
We are able to appreciate the beauty of the holiday and anticipate each forthcoming night not for the gifts that we are to receive, but the Hanukkah Gelt that magically appears on our pillows, the familiar crackle of latkes frying in the pan, the soothing melody of the once-a-year-sung blessings, the warm glow of the golden flames on our skin and the slow dripping of the rainbow of wax from our eclectic family of menorahs.
Thus, both holidays, Christmas, for the birth of the savior, and Chanukah, for the freedom to worship without restraint, give reason to give thanks and not necessarily gifts.
So this year, don't forget to stop and think, not, as my mom said, "What do you think you need?" but instead, about everything that you already have and the non-refundable gift of time that you can share with those you love.
