As you begin classes this week, you will quickly come to realize that here at Hopkins it isn't as easy being at the top of the class as it was in high school. You are a Hopkins student now, which automatically means you were an overachiever in high school. Many of you were valedictorians, presidents of your student councils and editors of your school newspapers. A school can easily handle one or two overachievers, but what happens when over four thousand overachievers go to the same school? You become "throat."
Throat, which is short for cutthroat, is the term used to describe the students here at Hopkins who are willing to do anything in order to be at the top of the class. The sad fact is that this belief used to be confined to Hopkins. Now, other universities, prospective students and even New York magazine believe we are a malicious bunch.
In March 2003, New York magazinecoined the phrase "the Hopkins effect" to describe how "Hopkins has a knack for producing a singular sort of character -- one in which the DNA of the computer jock has been gene-spliced with that of the arrogant med student -- and it's an ugly hybrid." But is this ugly hybrid really willing to do anything to succeed, even if it means keeping other students from succeeding?
Ever heard the story of the pre-med who pulled the fire alarm in the dorms the night before the big biology exam just so he could keep his classmates from getting any sleep before the exam? If you haven't, you certainly will at some point, because it seems that being "throat" is something we have begun to pride ourselves on.
Upperclassmen are always happy to relate horror stories about that student who pulled fire alarms in the dorms or in the library the night before the big exam in order to prevent other students from studying, or about some premed who stole notes from his classmate in order to gain the upper hand or the higher grade.
However, what the upperclassmen fail to tell you is that the majority of them don't actually know anyone who has pulled the fire alarm or stolen someone's notes. So where are the real cutthroats?
They aren't in the Writing Sems department, that's for sure. How many times have you heard about the Writing Sems major who stole his classmate's plot diagram? Or the anthropology major who refused to talk to a peer in a seminar about a book because they feared that this would throw off the curve?
Sure, there can be other subtler forms of competition in humanities classes, but the true problem "throats" -- those that view others' success as a hinderance to their own -- belong to classes that are graded on a curve, which are mostly the pre-med requirements.
If you want to avoid the cutthroat atmosphere at Hopkins, stay away from those classes graded on a curve. If you have no choice but to take those courses because you are a pre-med, then whatever you do, don't follow the Mental Notes' advice in their song "The Premed:" "If you're going to be a pre-med, you got to be number one. You got to know how to beat them, know how to cheat them, know how to throat your friends to get ahead. You've got to guard your homework, give your friends those wrong assignments, be the terror of your chem lab if you are going to be pre-med."
Whether or not there are "throats" in the class of 2009 remains to be seen. But remember, your class doesn't need to perpetuate the cutthroat mentality. You can prove us all wrong and put an end to the 3 a.m. fire alarms. Trust me, the Writing Sems majors will thank you.
