...or how about the bus?

There are plenty of reasons to be afraid of Baltimore. There's no excuse for being afraid of taking the bus in Baltimore. I've had it with Hopkins students who can't tear themselves away from the shelter of their dark green Passat and imagine taking public transportation. Get over it. You may live in the Hamptons, but it's time to actually ride the bus with people from a lower tax bracket. I charge you, the incoming freshman class, to be done with this travel ignorance before second semester begins and you start to think that "exploring the city" involves taking the shuttle to Super Fresh.

Sock it to the MTA

Take the bus. For those that try to use the "it's complicated" excuse, no dice. Here's the idiot's guide to taking the bus:

1. Have $1.60 in exact change, and you're good to go. Don't put in a $5 bill and be sad when you don't get change back and make the rest of the line wait.

2. Your basic routes are lines 3 and 11, as marked on the major bus stops on Charles and St. Paul Streets (Charles goes one way (north), St. Paul the other (south)). South is in the direction of Mount Vernon, Inner Harbor, Federal Hill, et al. This said, there's a lot more to Baltimore than Charles Street. Find other lines at: http:// www.mtamaryland.com/services/bus.

3. Pay attention on the bus. Don't strike up conversations, and when you are close to your stop, press the Yellow strip and, MAGIC, the bus STOPS.

4. When? It runs every four minutes in the early morning rush, and about every half hour after that. For specific times and routes, check the aforementioned Web site.

D.C. and Beyond

A dingy, orange upholstered train named MARC can become one of your best friends in Baltimore. The commuter train leaves from Penn Station almost on the hour every hour, and all the time during the commuter rush. Although it doesn't run on weekends, you can pop in for a Friday dinner in D.C. at a reasonable rate. Don't forget those cities that have popped up between Baltimore and D.C. merely for the sake of commuters ... Halethorpe? Seabrook? Middle-class paradises on the East Coast!

The Hopkins Shuttle

Get on the navy blue bus. They're good for what they are, but it's hard to call them "transportation." You can call them from 5 p.m. until 2 a.m., no matter how drunk, no questions asked. Program (410) 516-8700 into your phone, be nice to the operator, and you'll get your van anywhere from 10 minutes to 40 minutes later. Be patient so you don't look like a fool calling a taxi from Sig Ep. Keep in mind, there are "route vans" that circulate between the Homewood Apartments and SuperFresh (approximately), and special vans that take you anywhere your little heart desires within two miles. Things noteworthy within two miles: Thai Restaurant (in the heart of Greenmount), Hampden main street, grocery stores including Safeway, SuperFresh, and now Super Giant, and Blockbuster.

However, don't forget: you're not traveling anywhere, you're being "escorted" somewhere. It's about as cheap and dirty as it sounds. With all this information at hand, never fear the Baltimore Streets again. Whether you like it or not, you have an urban campus with endless opportunities at your fingertips. Be safe when you travel and, most especially, don't be sorry that you didn't.