Savage headlines Awareness Days week

Syndicated sex columnist Dan Savage spoke to a mixed crowd of undergraduates, graduate students and community members last Thursday night, as the Diverse Sexuality and Gender Alliance (DSAGA) kicked off its 12th annual Awareness Days Program.

Savage, who writes the nationally syndicated sex column "Savage Love," began by ditching the speech he had prepared and instead beginning a discussion on gay marriage, an institution he feels has gone through dynamic changes that reflect society's modified definition of marriage.

Marriage today is what two people make it -- they can decide whether or not to live together, have kids or share finances and whether to marry for two days or a lifetime. Because people are deciding for themselves what marriage is, the door has been opened for two people of the same sex to be married, said Savage.

He touched on the fact that gay people will continue having children whether or not they are legally married and that recognizing these marriages could only serve to benefit those children who already exist.

Savage called civil unions, "marriage-lite," and expressed the concern that making such unions so widely available would actually undermine the institution of marriage.

"It's junior varsity marriage," said Savage, and a poor substitute for the real thing.

Savage recounted his experiences in Seattle while attempting to get a marriage license for he and his boyfriend - they were immediately rejected. He then returned to the clerk's office with his lesbian friend.

"[I said,] 'I'm gay, she's a lesbian, we're never going to live together, not going to have children, never going to see each other naked and only kind of like each other. Can we get a license?'"

They were handed a license that day. Savage said he and his friend plan to hold a ceremony to demonstrate how absurd they find this process.

Savage then opened the floor to audience members, who asked questions ranging from AIDS and genetics to reality television and abstinence education.

Savage said AIDS and HIV education needs to undergo revision. The message to gay men in the '80s -- that anything goes as long as you use a condom -- is no longer adequate. There is a limit to how many people you should be sleeping with; no matter how safe a person is, increasing the number of partners increases the risk, said Savage.

"Straight people need more [sex] than they can get," he said. "Gay people need less [sex] than they can get -- there's a balance."

When asked his opinion on religion, Savage said he had a low opinion of organized religion and an even lower one of disorganized religion.

"We should be able not to like other people's religions or beliefs," he said. "Religious wars are fights between people to see who has the better imaginary friend."

Savage spoke out against abstinence education, which he feels that although it might cause kids to have fewer partners, it does not mean there are lower rates of STDs. He also fielded a question about reality television's portrayal of gay characters. He commented that it seems that all openly gay couples break up, and gay characters, like Will from Will and Grace, are unrealistic.

However, he also pointed out that the need to censure gay television characters is no longer necessary. Before, when there were only a few representations of homosexuality on television, it was important to make them realistic. Now, however, with the rise of gay characters and relevant story lines, there is less need to be so concerned.

Savage spoke candidly about his son, whom he and his boyfriend adopted. "My son is a staunch opponent of gay marriage," he said. "Two men just can't marry each other, just like to him a girl can't be a firefighter." Savage said that every child of same-sex couples is a wanted child -- the couple either had to adopt or ask someone to lend a uterus.

"You don't get drunk and adopt," he said.