I was wondering if you knew Hopkins' departmental rules on undergraduates relationships with their TAs - in this case, a graduate student. Is everything in the clear as long as we don't hook up, or are there guidelines that we need to look out for? I think the feeling between us is mutual, and I'm wondering if anything can come of it.
After promising my Spanish TA that I was not hitting on her, I asked her what the rules were on undergrad / TA relationships (the things I go through for this column!). After taking a slow step away from me, she said the rule is that as long as it is not a TA who is teaching your class/section, anything goes.
In other words, your situation is not optimal. You're putting yourself and your TA at a great risk by attempting to date him or her.
If you're like most of us, the only real interaction you have with your TA is in class, so this rule makes life harder -- you can see but not touch. Unfortunately, this makes sense--I'm not sure I'd want to deal with a situation where I broke-up with someone who was responsible for my grade at the end of the year. Also, dating someone who's in a position of power makes sexual harassment rules and questions about consensual sex pretty hazy; if someone can fail you, are you ever doing something totally willingly?
If things haven't progressed too far in this relationship with your TA, try and keep your clothes on until the end of the semester. If you can't wait that long, get out of his or her section -- now. If you're seeing your TA, the two of you will feel pretty uncomfortable trying to hide it for the rest of the semester so your new playmate can keep his or her job. Furthermore, if you make your move this semester and the feelings aren't mutual, it could spell disaster for your grades as well as be a huge embarrassment.
As long as your section issues are resolved, I'll agree, what's not to like about the idea of getting with a TA? I would give props to you if you managed to seduce one, or found one with weak enough morals to actually leave the library to date or even hook-up with an undergrad. I definitely would've hit on one of mine last year if he wasn't gay (oh wait, I think I did...damn), and I know of at least one writing seminars as well as an anthropology TA who have groupies.
When on the hunt, keep the old AMR saying in mind: "House booty is bad booty." In other words, keep it outside your major. If you're going to hook-up with a TA, avoiding one in your major is really just hedging your bets. You never know if he or she will end up TA-ing another one of your classes. As all good things come to an end, staying outside of your major makes conflicts slightly easier to avoid.
No one is going to stop you either way if the two of you go out for coffee, but bring a paper with you just in case you need a good cover story. Don't kid yourself either -- who really only wants coffee? If you can't get out of your section and you're not a senior, your non-coffee desires should wait to be fulfilled next year.
Editors' Note: The columnist is not a trained medical professional. If you seek professional medical advice, please consult your doctor. To send questions anonymously, go to www.jhunewsletter.com and click on "Contact Us."
