Let me preface this by saying that I am in no way a "man-hater." I'm just always surprised, and a bit amused, by the common mistakes that guys make in dating and relationships. Some guys think they need to play a part or resort to tricks in order to get a girl. Others simply don't realize their errors, and could benefit from a few pointers. Of course, the following assumes that you're looking for a real relationship, and not just casual sex.
So, to the ten guys who are still actually reading this article, good for you. Although the relationship game is an imperfect art, sincerity and respect are what it's all about. Avoiding certain pitfalls won't hurt, either. Common mistakes range from easily-corrected courtesy oversights to more serious, relationship-ending lapses in judgment. The former apply more to dating, while the latter are more relevant for guys in established relationships.
There are a few preventable dating faux pas many guys commit. I might appear to be nit-picking, but these trivial errors can overshadow a guy's good qualities and prevent a potential relationship from even beginning.
Many men are overly-confident and assertive when they begin dating a woman. The fact is, a big ego is a big turn-off. Other guys hit the opposite extreme, putting forward a submissive or obsequious attitude in the hopes of winning a girl's favor. Women don't like doormats (and it's not too fun for the guy, either). Confidence is incredibly attractive, but it's easily overdone.
It is a well-known but entirely false presumption that guys who are sexually assertive are perceived as strong and attractive by women. In reality, it just scares women away, or at least causes them to lose interest. Women know when a guy is sexually attracted to them -- they don't need proof. So be a gentleman, and she'll appreciate the respect.
When you're dating a girl, go easy on the alcohol. Yes, many women like "bad boys," but a stumbling drunk is just plain disgusting. The girl who sticks around after taking care of her intoxicated date is a rare breed.
Once two people move beyond dating to a "relationship," mistakes become more serious. Maintaining a relationship, or ending it properly, requires even more effort than finding a date.
While a small amount of controlled jealousy is always nice, too much can end a relationship. Keep your insecurities in check -- intense jealousy or over-protectiveness will scare a girl away.
A needy guy will slowly wear away at a girl. Not only is neediness unattractive, it's also just plain exhausting. Girls like an attentive guy, but not one who lacks independence or refuses to give them their space.
Of course, a surefire way to end a relationship is by lying or cheating. While the parameters should be obvious, some guys are a little muddy on what actually constitutes "cheating." There is physical cheating -- as in getting drunk and hooking up with some girl or, even worse, carrying on a continual affair with her. But there is emotional cheating as well. If you continue to date your girlfriend while still "shopping around" for someone else, then you're a cheater in my book. If there is any justice in the world, both your girlfriend and the girl you're chasing will dump your cheating ass.
The way a guy goes about ending a relationship is just as important as the way he dates. Most guys overlook this point -- if a relationship is over, why should it matter? It matters because both your personal integrity and your reputation are at stake. Not to mention the effects of karma -- the way you treated that poor girl will come back to haunt you, you bastard.
Above all, be yourself. You needn't be attractive to become involved with someone; girls are less impressed by looks than they are by the way a guy makes them feel. Girls aren't the complicated and disapproving idealists most guys think they are. All they really want is honesty, sincerity and a little romance. And if it turns out your personalities don't click, they don't click. At least you'll both be able to walk away with a mutual respect and the knowledge that you were true to yourselves.
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