The big step of couple cohabitation

In any serious relationship, it's bound to come sooner or later. In college, when staying over at a boyfriend or girlfriend's place is more convenient than walking home, the next step is moving in together. It's certainly a big step, and one that needs careful consideration.

"All the couples I know who have lived together have broken up," says one anonymous senior.

Is living with your college boyfriend or girlfriend a recipe for disaster, or is it a great way to strengthen a relationship? There are several couples at Hopkins who currently live together, and have found that a little push-and-pull goes a long way in certain situations.

Junior Sara Kover has been with boyfriend Josh Verb, a senior at Towson University, since high school. Kover lived on campus at Hopkins for her first two years and recently moved into a one-bedroom apartment with Verb in Towson.

Kover, who is applying to study abroad next semester, explains that one of the major advantages is that she doesn't have to worry about subletting the apartment in the spring. Because she has a car, she commutes to and from school during the week.

"I kind of feel there's a stigma about moving in with people while you're still in college," says Verb. "Like you're not ready yet."

According to Kover, the most important thing, as in any relationship, is communication. "Before we moved in together, we sat down and thought about all the stuff that could be issues with us living together," says Kover.

"That took a lot of pressure off, because we knew what the issues were going to be and how were going to deal with them." Kover explains that the biggest hurdle thus far has been her desire for cleanliness and his apathy for it.

"I kind of expected to deal with ... arguments because I'm really neat and he's really messy," says Kover. "But it's going surprisingly well because we don't fight about stuff like that." Senior Lauren Shevchik and recent Hopkins graduate Jeremy Brown, who have been together for over two years, also recently moved in together, into an apartment in The Northway.

Brown, who is now part of the Hopkins graduate program, had been living in his fraternity house, and Shevchik had been living in an apartment building that did not allow Shevchik's dog to live there.

Both couples admit that there are minor problems, most notably working out these cleaning duties. "The adjustment period was there, which tends to put a strain on some things," explains Verb. "We're kind of settling in now, but initially it's tough because ... we aren't used to living with anybody. Our pet peeves have become exemplified." In addition, Kover has had to adjust to the commute every day and admits that she's not too thrilled with it.

Shevchik and Brown have also come up with a solution to the cleanliness problem. Since their apartment has two bedrooms, the couple uses one to sleep in and the other as a "trash room" for Brown.

One thing that both couples recommend is giving living together a test run of a few months to work out the kinks and ensure compatibility. Kover and Verb spent the summer living together. "It was kind of a good experiment to try it out for a little while," says Kover.

Shevchik and Brown also lived together for six months before the school year began. "If something happened, I could walk back across the street," says Brown. "After the six month test period, we realized it wasn't that bad and we enjoyed living with each other."

Both couples discussed the idea of moving in together with their respective parents before going through with it. However, none of the four encountered much opposition. "It actually wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be," says Kover. "My dad's only concern was that I had a place to study." Having been together for four years, Kover's parents knew Verb well, and Verb's parents knew Kover well.

"It wasn't like we met six months ago and moved in together," says Kover. Shevchik and Brown also found that their parents were comfortable with their living together.

"My parents weren't too bad about it," says Brown. "We had been together for a little over a year, so that was a big factor [in their support]." Though many couples have failed when it comes to being able to live together, both couples are happy thus far. "It's nice living with someone who cares about you," explains Brown.

"It's really nice to wake up in the morning and have that person there," says Kover.