Compiling lists is a time-honored tradition in the world of arts and entertainment, with every filmmaker, author, actor and musician striving to be the best while pursuing artistic expression. Everyone wants to be recognized for his or her achievements. Hell, we are a nation of individuals competing for that coveted spot of adoration. The past school year has witnessed the arrival of a flurry of films, television programs and album releases. Furthermore, the theatrical performances on campus must not be overlooked, with nearly a production every week. Wading through the murky river is a daunting task, but we are brave.
FILM
Pics
Spirited Away -- Sure, Disney shelled out the bucks to distribute this film in America, but it doesn't change the fact that Mickey & Co. has never produced an animated film with as much imagination, intrigue and tenderness as Spirited Away. The brainchild of Japanese animation giant Hayao Miyazaki and his Studio Ghibli, Spirited Away isn't merely kid's fare; it's a deep rumination on growing older and saying goodbye. While the film is utterly bizarre at times, it remains emotionally immediate nonetheless. Miyazaki takes you on a ride replete with strange sights and sounds, but he never leaves your heart behind.
All The Real Girls -- 27-year-old writer/director David Gordon Green achieves a poetic timelessness in this simple contemporary love story, set in rural North Carolina. There are moments when you feel you could pull off the surface and find the same story echoing back through human history. Green's directorial command has tightened significantly since his first film, George Washington, and, thankfully, he still defies Hollywood conventions. Remember his name: he's one of the best newcomers in the world.
Adaptation -- The Kaufman/Jonze team follow up their homerun Being John Malkovich with a grand slam. Beyond its fierce originality, fresh performances and brain-twisting meta-edginess, Adaptation's most remarkable achievement is its perfect balance between vicious satire and genuine tragedy.
Far From Heaven -- Probably one of the most confusing films of the year. Sure, the Todd Haynes' film is universally praised, but for the wrong reasons. Instead of merely imitating Douglas Sirk's melodramas in pure pastiche panache, Haynes, along with a brilliant performance from Julianne Moore and Dennis Quaid, practically reinvented the modern melodrama and reinvigorated the post-modern comedy. Honestly, the film is a hoot, from melancholy start to maudlin finish.
Chicago -- Pure Hollywood gold, from start to finish. Sure, Moulin Rouge kicked off the momentary interest in musicals, but this film arguably has more heart and chutzpah, not to mention choreography that wasn't a complete disaster. With stunning cinematography and amazing performances from Catherine Zeta-Jones, Queen Latifah and John C. Reilly, this little musical earned its Oscars. Or maybe, we're just suckers for cheese.
Pans
Adventures of Pluto Nash -- Now here's a cool idea for all you aspiring producers: blindly green-light a screenplay that seems like it was written on the toilet, assume that putting a big name comedian in the lead role will somehow fix everything, allot roughly $50 for the sets and costumes, and hire the director of Mighty Joe Young to tie it all together. Then let the finished project sit on the shelf for two years before you thrust it unadvertised upon the naive public. In short, don't see this movie, folks. Actually, maybe you should see it, just so you can tell your kids "you were there" when American cinema hit rock bottom.
Swept Away -- Definitive proof that studio executives should banish Madonna from any lot in the general vicinity. Now we know why the film was filmed in the Caribbean, very far from Los Angeles. Truly, this is an awful, beleaguered mess of a remake, and with Guy Ritchie directing, you have to wonder if his wife has him whipped.
Daredevil -- Despite its undeniable visual inventiveness, Daredevil took me to hell and back. Somehow a hit with audiences, it lacks everything that makes a comic book movie fun: an idiosyncratic hero, a complex villain and snappy dialogue. Instead, Affleck's character acts more like a Rent-A-Cop, Duncan and Farrell forget to step out of their cookie cutters and the dialogue is actually worse than most comic books themselves.
The Core -- This disaster movie arrived about six years after its Whitehouse-blasting brethren, but that's not what lands The Core on this list. Rather, it's the lifeless, clichZ-ridden screenplay that's so simple it could have been randomly generated by a computer. In fact, to call this film a "disaster movie" is probably using one word too many.
The Hours -- Well, gee, what went wrong here? The film has three great actresses in the main roles, a fantastic supporting cast, a director whose Billy Elliot is a treasure, and a Pulitzer Prize-winning novel as its source material. Oh, that's right: someone forgot to include a point. The Hours is a film so wrapped up in itself, and quite frankly so in love with itself, that it thinks it doesn't need one. I've never seen so much angst in one story without any substantial internal study of the characters. Just because Meryl Streep is crying doesn't mean I'm going to cry along with her. Other problems: Julianne Moore's section falls completely flat, as director Daldry barely tries to mask its literary roots. And Philip Glass' droning score made me want to hit my ears with a brick.
TELEVISION
Pics
Curb Your Enthusiasm -- Yes, the best! For those without HBO, I pity thee, I truly do. Larry David (the co-creator of Seinfeld) continually delivers the most random of hilarious situations and relies on improvisational acting to connect the dots. Already, the show has managed to get away with everything Seinfeld could not, including post-coital pubic hairs, racist jokes and nativity scenes.
South Park -- The left versus the right. Pro-war versus anti-war. J-Lo verus Jennifer Lopez. On South Park, the world is divided into distinct categories, and the writers sit back and skewer everyone in offensive humor that is equal-opportunist. Not only have they officially stolen the role of social satirists from The Simpsons, they recently celebrated their 100th episode with a rarity in aging shows -- humor.
Six Feet Under -- Alan Ball's twisted drama explores life, death and everything in between with the perfect balance of talented actors, poignant, acute dialogue and beautiful cinematography. Every episode is a morbid morsel, proving that corpses have never been so alive.
Alias -- Endlessly complex in its ability to deliver an intricate network of government conspiracies, the show raises the bar for all spy thrillers, including the now dated 24. Jennifer Garner is a veritable chameleon, and could teach Madonna a few pointers on fashion and hair alterations. Packed with emotional gut and fascinating design, this show remains the most underrated on television.
Trigger Happy TV -- The funniest British import since early episodes of Absolutely Fabulous. Comedy Central began airing this twisted spin on Candid Camera in which hidden cameras capture public reactions to the most absurd situations: including life-size squirrels and humping bunnies. Off-guard and off-color, the show is a breath of fresh air with its unbridled imagination.
Pans
Frasier -- The Brothers Crane wore out their welcome three seasons ago. Ratings are slipping with every aging season. The Emmys stopped showing favoritism for the cast and crew. Niles and Daphne are married, with little romantic tension. Frasier is still single. Niles battled cancer this past season. Why are we still watching this dreadful sitcom? Or better yet, why is NBC still paying $5 million per episode to foist it upon viewers?
Anything on ABC -- From ingratiating reality fare (The Bachelor, Are You Hot?) to painful sitcoms (According to Jim, 8 Simple Rules), the family network has consistently delivered the absolute worst smorgasbord of any network, and that includes UPN. The Evening News features a droll Dan Rather, Good Morning America is anemic, NYPD Blue now features Zack from Saved By The Bell. Save for Alias, the only program worth TIVOing, the executives underneath the Mouse have demonstrated they couldn't find any tasty cheese.
Joe Millionaire -- Yes, we watched it. In fact, everyone seemed to watch this train wreck. But after it was all over, we finally realized that this reality series was not only bad TV, but it wasn't even enjoyable bad TV.
Married By America -- The worst idea since Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire? Oh, but wait, Mr. Personality just started. Geez, when will the awful reality programs finally die?
The Simpsons -- We began the season with adoration of The Simpsons, now in their 14th year, and based off the first two episodes, things were groovy gravy. However, after that, our once-favorite post-modern sitcom dropped in quality with joyless material while the voice actors seemed to be losing enthusiasm. Consider the much-ballyhooed 300th episode -- what a letdown! And these guys are renewed until season 16, d'oh!
Guilty Pleasures
Trading Spaces -- Hanging with Paige and the designer gang is endlessly addictive. Frank's ideas might be a little kitschy, but he's always fun to watch.
American Idol --Roooo-ben! Glad to see Carmen finally go! Shout out to Kimberley Locke! While Simon seems to have lost some of his edge since the first season, we still love to tune in to jeer and cheer for the best and worst of nonprofessional talent.
Dateline NBC -- Chosen for its unrelenting pride in yellow journalism. It might not be your best news source, but it is certainly a constant source of entertainment.
MTV Reality programs -- Although we still hate Ellen from Real World/Road Rules: Battle of the Sexes, you've got to love MTV's take on "reality." Sorority Life is an especially amusing addition to the usual line-up. Too bad Hopkins won't be adding another gem to the mix.
Iron Chef -- One of these days, you're going down, Iron. Interesting fact: Martha Stewart owns the American rights to this show, so every second you watch, you are contributing to her illegal stock portfolio. Oh well, this show is too good to stop.
MUSIC
Pics
Beck, Sea Change -- Beck takes a break from his usual funky, turntable-spun cool, inspired by the break he took from his girlfriend of eight years, and gets as serious as he's been since Mutations. On Sea Change we hear Beck's true vocal abilities paired with folky guitars and soaring, space-age synth work.
The Roots, Phrenology -- The Roots' newest is the next chapter in the hip-hop saga that began with Mos Def and Talib Kweli's Black Star. The new wave of hip-hop is a series of records that develop with novel-like intricacy, pay homage to their roots and explore the innate connections between hip-hop and rock and roll.
Yo La Tengo, Summer Sun -- Yo La Tengo's story is that of the unsung, understated and the truly intimate side of indie rock. Their new album, "a very very sad beach record" is as moving as a disc can get and still be low-key.
John Hammond, Ready for Love -- Bluesman Hammond has been conquering the blues catalogue one song at a time since the '60s; on his latest, he finally shows off his own songwriting ability, exhibiting a style that is as dazzling as it is mature.
50 Cent, Get Rich or Die Tryin' -- Okay, so you have to hate the corporate rap world for what it is, but this album is just damn fun to listen to. "In da Club" is the most infectious party jam since "Hot in Herre,"and 50 Cent makes the list -- so there!
Pans
Folk Implosion, The New Folk Implosion -- It's such a shame to see a talented independent band try to adopt such a shamelessly mainstream sound. Frontman Lou Barlow has left his lo-fi roots behind for this distastefully plain and unremarkable disappointment of an album.
Patty Larkin, Red=Luck -- A living tribute to the rumor that Berklee School of Music in Boston simply churns out musicians-by-number, Patty Larkin fails again with an independent radio chart-topping piece of trash.
Audioslave, Audioslave -- Tom Morello's story is interesting: son of Mau-Mau guerilla soldier, Harvard graduate, Rage Against the Machine guitarist. What is not in the least bit interesting is his super-overrated debut with ex-Soundgarden singer Chris Cornell. Bring back Zach de la Rocha.
Ben Harper, Diamonds on the Inside -- When is Ben Harper going to stop subjecting us to his tiresome faux-reggae under the false pretense of "alternativeness" and just get his patchouli-smelling ass into the grind pit at MTV Spring Break Cancun where it not only belongs, but where he clearly wants to be?
Johnny Cash, American Man IV: The Man Comes Around -- Give up, Johnny. No one wants to hear you cover Depeche Mode. You're too old.
THEATER
Pics
No Exit, Hopkins Studio Players -- Keelye Pratt, Megan Weil, Tarik Najeddine and Jerry Wu turned in near-professional performances and did Sartre's masterpiece justice. Under the direction of John Astin, these Studio Players proved that their future is bright indeed.
Oleanna,The Barnstormers -- Both powerful and emotionally charged, two actors carry the entire play. Kateri Chambers brings a degree of professionalism and maturity not witnessed on the Hopkins stage for some time. Already claiming her spot now, she should continue to be a powerful force in the coming years of Hopkins theater.
The Book of Morton, Witness Theatre -- Clever and witty, showcasing Witness at their best. This short play, based loosely off the Book of Genesis, had many highlights, including the voice of God, an angel dressed in headgear and an offering of Brita water in exchange for matzah. Perfectly timed with non-stop laughter, Witness proves that it has a plenty of talented writers and actors to offer to Hopkins theatre.
The Vagina Monologues -- Directed by (gasp!) a man, these ladies told us how it really is Down Under with humor, grace and sympathy. Catch it next year -- it's the hottest time you'll have in the Snark Theater.
AIM Musical, Throat Culture -- Throat Culture went out with a bang this year. Their AIM musical had the audience dying, especially freshman Gillian Gower's sad song of lament, "I've Been Warned."
Pans
Rumors, The Barnstormers -- Despite a marvelous set, only half of the young actors (Tom West, Dave Klein and Kim Andrews) seemed interested in the material. Without any strong supporters, the play ran out of steam by the end of the first act.
Letters to Kurt, Witness Theatre -- Witness delivers the least coherent musical of the year, with singing far worse than the The Secret Garden. Honestly, next to this garbled mess, I'd pay good money to have the principals of Garden perform the banal lyrics and obvious thematics. Shame on Witness for selecting and opening their final showcase with a DOA stinker.
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead, The Barnstormers -- Director Mike Pokorny's sets were pretty damn cool, but sets don't keep an audience entertained for hours. Really, hours.
Everything Else Throat Culture Does -- They're just not funny.
Hedwig and the Angry Itch -- Why did this production fail to exist? Whatever the reasons, a great rock musical show and an even greater idea to bring it to Hopkins both fell flat, leaving us with another tired rendition of Rocky Horror Picture Show.
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