It's high time the record gets set straight. The Transformers was officially the single greatest cartoon show in the history of television. There. I said it.
Who'd seen anything like it before? Science fiction like this had long been reserved for geeky types who hung out at the local comic book shop. The Transformers brought it to our homes, with fresh episodes nearly every week from 1985 to 1988.
For those that don't recall (or won't admit to it), the series told the tale of the last survivors of robot race who'd fled their planet and eventually crash-landed on Earth. The benevolent Autobots, led by the mighty Optimus Prime, struggled against the evil Decepticons and their deadly leader, Megatron, over control of their new planet.
Episode after episode, they managed to convey complex messages and morals in the guise of entertainment, without ever cheapening the show. None of that "knowing is half the battle" bullshit here, folks. After these guys, who but acidheads could watch The Smurfs anymore?
My favorite was "Bumblebee." Not the sexy choice, I know. But the Bee-man kept it real, man. He could always be turned to for a quick quip, but never degenerated into a Jar Jar Binks-like caricature.
Bumblebee was, for lack of a better word, human. And he transformed into a Volkswagen. C'mon now.
Perhaps the show slowed in subsequent years when a slew of new characters were introduced without explanation. Bigger certainly didn't mean better when it came to Transformers.
I could never identify with Optimus, Omega Supreme or Ultra Magnus. As nifty as they were (One turned into a friggin' moonbase, for Pete's sake!), they seemed a bit much sometimes. And what was with all the Latin, anyway?
Thankfully, the franchise turned itself around in a remarkable way. Just when you thought the robot fad had hit its' peak, they hit us with a double-barreled shotgun blast of greatness.
Transformers: The Movie shattered all the conventions of the television-to-film genre exemplified by lightweight fare like The Care Bears Movie or even G.I. Joe: The Movie. Not only was its art markedly improved upon from the televised versions, but the producers recruited Hollywood's best for the voice track.
How on Earth did they get Orson Welles to play Unicron? Citizen Kane himself playing the greatest robot of them all. In his last role, no less. Truly awesome.
By comparison, the best the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles flick could come up with was a cameo by Vanilla Ice. Go ninja, indeed.
By the end of the opening credits, a childhood classic had been born. Then they did the unheard-of. They killed the coolest Autobot of them all, Optimus Prime.
Never before had a major cartoon character been snuffed out so cruelly, and certainly not on the big screen. I remember how the entire audience seemed captivated by the pure shock of it all. By the time the final credits rolled, nearly a dozen Autobots and Decepticons had been wiped off the planet and the Transformer universe was changed forever.
Any casual observer of today's so-called cartoons knows just how far the level of contemporary animation has fallen. Think about it. South Park is cute and all, but it's just a bunch of potty-mouthed kids, people. Megatron would tear Cartman to shreds.
The most watched cartoons of the last decade - Sailor Moon, Pokmon and the Power Rangers - are cheap Japanese imports with the worst dubbing I've seen since Once Upon a Time in China. If I had younger siblings that had grown up with this garbage, I'd probably have to be medicated.
As thrilling as an action cartoon could be, The Transformers never talked down to its audience and certainly never compromised its originality. I'm pleased that I was young enough to enjoy it and more pleased that I was old enough to remember it.
Please note All comments are eligible for publication in The News-Letter.