Don't let the birds get ya down - This guy lived long enough to impart his wisdom, so you frosh should heed his words.

When I came to Hopkins last year, everybody I knew had some piece of advice to share that would guarantee success in college. My father told me to get involved with everything that interests me. My aunt told me to relax because these would be the best years of my life. My teachers told me to work hard, because that would be the only difference between me and every other student at Hopkins.

Yeah, these words of wisdom are trite at best, and I really didn't need to hear them because I already knew everything on how to succeed. I knew that if I spent 40 hours a week in D-Level (the basement of the library, for you frosh) I could get straight "A"s and go to Oxford for grad school.

What I've found in the last year is that most people here have a good idea on how to succeed at Hopkins, but they are too damn lazy to do anything about it. Everybody knows that hard works means good grades, and that a few activities can mean the difference between attending grad school and teaching grade school (not really, but whatever.)

Well, freshmen, here's the short list to academic success at Hopkins:

Make a list of what you want to get out of Hopkins.

Make a plan of action for achieving your goals.

Work hard.

Again, work hard.

Easy enough, right? Well, now you know how to go out there and turn some heads, so do it.

Everything outside of academics is a bit harder. If I knew how to gaurentee hapiness in college, or how to best use these precious four years of my life, I would have written a best-selling line of self-help books by now. Here are some tips anyway:

Get involved. Some of the most interesting people I know I've met in random activities.

Play a little frisbee. The fresh air is good for you.

Do not, no matter what, download games like Elf-Bowling or Squeem. In fact, avoid video games like the plague.

Visit the AC every now and then.

Get 8 hours and 15 minutes of sleep a night. Research has shown that people perform their best on 8 hours and 15 minutes of sleep a night.

Look both ways when crossing Charles St.

Finally, if you haven't before, visit Washington, D.C. and New York City. Washington is a cheap MARC ticket away, and NYC is NYC. It's like nothing else in the world.

Oh yeah, don't piss away your first semester thinking that those grades will never count for anything. If you do exceptionally well, you will find an oppurtunity to use your first term grades for something. I did.

Enjoy your freshman year.