AMR living: It's now or never, kids

Welcome, freshies, to the AMRs! -Appallingly Mediocre Residences, at best. You now have the choice of being one of two very different people. You can either be Type One, spending Saturday nights moping around, complaining to the Daily Jolt that even if there was something to do, it's too hot to go out.

Or, you can be Type Two - a smart one, who can overlook the heat and channel the oppressive energy of your closet-sized room into the driving force for working the social arena of the campus. From first-hand experience, we say we'll strive to embody Type Two.

We admit, the AMR hallways look like prisons, there is no air conditioning, the rooms are "cozy" at best and the bathrooms are, well, public. But, you know, there are too many people around to validate an excuse for not making friends. Where else can you make new friends just from brushing your teeth beside the same person every morning?

During the first few weeks, leave your door open. Not only will you get a breeze, but you'll meet your entire building. Plus, it's your key to the social network; once one person hears of a party, it's not long before the news reaches every room and you leave in a herd to rock the night away.

The AMRs lack air conditioning, and while people in Buildings A and B might beg to differ, it really is not that important. The humidity might be oppressive now, but within a month, you'll all be wearing sweatshirts and wondering why you made your parents buy such a huge fan.

As for the bathrooms, they may not sport gold fixtures, but at least they're cleaned every day. The glass on the shower doors leaves little to imagination, but face it, nobody really wants to look at you, anyway. Plus, next year, you'll probably miss having someone clean your bathroom for you.

Another hot commodity of the AMRs? You're close to everything. Have 9 a.m. Chem in Mudd? No prob; roll out of bed and you'll be there in five. Mail? Grab it as you head back from class. Dirty clothes? The laundry rooms are right downstairs (OK, so AMR I got screwed over and AMR II really has it best, but hey, that's where one of us lived last year. Gildersleeve, represent!)

Try to avoid the laundry rooms during the weekend rush, though, unless you want to wait hours for a drier. Use J-Cash to avoid having pounds of quarters pulling down your pants.

Hungry? Terrace is right around the corner, and people in AMR II even have an underground access hall to get there without getting drenched in the rain. Vending machines are in the basement. Plus, MegaBITES makes a hot new comeback this year as the cyber-cafe, MegaBYTES. We admit, even we're psyched about ordering a sandwich on a little flat-screen computer. The lounge-style couches and cafe tables even kinda resemble XandO. Now that's classy.

The AMR II basement actually sports a bunch of mysterious, hot commodities. Instead of trekking up to the Athletic Center (which is actually still under construction,) check out the AMR II exercise room. You can get in with your room key. For all you musicians too tired to hike to the new Mattin Center (which is worth checking out, by the way,) practice rooms are in the basement, too.

It may seem, at first, that everyone is either at a dorm party or playing Counterstrike, but enjoy first semester for what it's worth. When second semester arrives, your grades start counting and people will start buckling down on their academics.

To wind down, we don't foresee people ever stopping griping about the AMRs. But even in a near-utopia, people are sure to complain. Enjoy the AMR experience for all it's worth; the positive social aspects far outweigh the negative.

Hey, you only live once. Freshman year in the dorms is the most fun you'll never have again.